Diary of Lazy John

Waking up to reality...

2011-01-06T06:27:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, while I was on my way to work, an entry from the morning rush struck a chord with me. The topic was questions you ask before you get into a relationship and the entry was "Am I ready to be out?" Today is our 2nd year of being together and I often fantasize the day wherein we could be like normal couples with our own family. I know it will be next to impossible to happen with my family.

I woke up today crying from the dream that I had: My parents were away so I snuck him over to our house and we slept together. The next day, I was surprised to see my parents back home. I remembered asking myself if we were intimately sleeping but I was convinced we weren't so I casually told them that I just had my friend over because I wanted to hang out. He overslept so my parents invited him for lunch. The next thing I could remember was him showing everyone a video that we made where I promised to love him for as long as I could and I was shocked that he did that. Angry even. I walked out of the room and went to a restroom and before closing the door I heard them laughing and everything was what I wanted it to be for us now. After I locked the door I broke down and then I woke up to reality.

What I'm curious about was why did I feel that way when he outed me in my dream? Why instead of joy and liberation I felt shame and pain? I thought that after being together for this long and wanting to be a normal couple that I'd be ready to be outed but the truth is I'm still afraid. Fearful of what consequences it might bring.

Say Cheese..

2010-08-23T15:46:00.003+08:00

Gustong gusto na kitang ipakilala sa pamilya ko. Yung tipong ieexpect ka na nila every weekend na pupunta sa bahay. Makikisalo samin sa hapag kainan. Kukulitin mo ang mga kapatid ko at tatanungin ka naman ng kung ano anong tanong ng nanay at lola ko. Ayaw ko ng gumawa ng kung anu anong dahilan pag-uwi ko ng bahay pagkatapos nating magkasama. Napapagkamalan pa tuloy nila na babae ang karelasyon ko. Gusto ko na kasama ka na hindi lang sa mundo ko kung hindi sa mundo rin nila. Alam ko minsan ay napapatingin ako sa ibang mga lalaki kaya napangiti ako nung naglambing ka na sana ikaw na lang ang cute at macho sakin. Kung alam mo lang kung gaano kita pinagnanasaan hahaha. Alam ko medyo mahirap kung hindi man imposible ang mga iniisip kong eksena sa future natin pero magiging masaya nako basta tanggapin nila ako at ikaw kapag hiningi mo na ang kamay ko... wahahaha umaambisyon habang umaambon ngayong hapon!=)

Bangungot ng isang baklang bangag...

2010-08-11T12:28:00.003+08:00

I knew I was in a family gathering of some sorts. Wedding? Reunion? I had no idea. Hinaharot ko dun si Lola. It must be a wedding because there were people making speeches. Suddenly, I heard an outburst from the speaker. A grandmother of mine that is based in the States. It probably is January. She always comes home every January. I got upset with what I heard she was saying, furious even. "Kaya nga kami nagiwan ng mga lalaki dito e para secure kayo... iyon naman pala e mga bakla." I found myself shouting. "Oo, Bakla ako! Anu namang masama don?!" I was shocked with what I was doing and then I walked out. There was chaos afterward but I went to a safe place. I was conversing with someone telling him that I already told my family. Elated and yet still boggled with what I just did. Then I woke up...

I can't sleep again...

2010-06-11T02:31:00.002+08:00

Its 2:30 in the morning and I could hear our neighbor's cocks crowing their asses away while I'm thinking about a few different things. Hindi na naman ako makatulog ng maayus. I don't know if its because I'm thinking that I might not be able to wake up for the early appointment that I have made with a friend. Or maybe its because my body clock hasn't readjusted itself to my normal sleeping pattern. I'm also thinking where will I go next since my previous employment is as long as my first relationship. But the one thing that kept me awake in the middle of the night is the dream of what will happen next in the series that I was watching prior to sleeping. At dahil hindi nako makatulog I opted to just write about random stuff.

Yesterday, I went to Megamall to assist in reformatting the laptop of my friend. At dahil sa hindi pa kami naglulunch ay yun ang una naming hinanap. We were looking for a place where we could plug her laptop in case she runs out of battery pero halos lahat ng establishments ay walang electrical socket. Hindi naman pedeng sa coffee shop kami kumain dahil wala namang totoong food dun. So sabi niya Food Court daw kami. Go naman kami dun. Akala naman namin ay may socket na dun dahil andaming nakatambay dun with their laptops. Nakita ko ang NYFD at nabili ako ng fries. Nagkatitigan kami ng friend ko dahil si Kuya ay kasing yummy at hot ng fries na binebenta niya. At dahil umandar na naman ang (slight) na pagkalandi ko e tinanong ko kung bakit maraming tao dun sa podium noon. Sinagot naman ako ni Kuya pero nasense ko lang na nasense lang niya ang (slight) na paglandi ko at ang "Pare, Im straight at pag nilandi moko ay jombag ang abot mo sakin" vibe. Ito namang torpe kong friend e niloloko ko na kunin na ang number para lang (slight) na iflirt pero dahil sa mas mahiyain pa siya sa makahiya kahit na biniyayaan na siya ng more than average na future ay hindi man lang siya kumembot ke Kuya. Kaya napilitan kaming lumayo na ke Kuya at maghanap ng mappwestuhan namin.

Namili siya ng gusto niyang pwesto namin at dahil sa nakasanayan ko ng reflex ng mata ko e nakascout na naman ako ng next target. Saktong sakto sa harap ko ay isang cute na chinito na me masayang kinakausap na mama sa harap niya. Nagkatinginan din kami ng ilang beses pero dahil umandar ang pagkamayumi ko ay hindi nako tumingin ulit sa kanya. (Kung wala lang yung kausap niya e pinuntahan ko na yun para tanungin kung nagiisa lang siya ahihihi) Umalis na rin sila ng kausap niya after a while at nagdaldalan nalang ulit kami ng friend ko habang kumakain.

Gogora na sana kami sa pinakamalapit na coffee shop at magpapaalam na rin sana ako ke Kuya NYFD ng nakita ng friend ko na cute yung emcee nung program sa podium. Lapit naman kami sa stage at akala ko e nanlalabo lang ang mata ng kaibigan ko pero wit. Gwapo pala talaga siya. Matangkad tapos ang ganda pa ng katawan hehehe at dahil ang alam ng friend ko ay si Kim at Gerald ang nagshow ay nanghinayang siya dahil gusto daw niya talagang makita first hand kung totoo ang balibalita na super mega payat in person si Kim Chiu. Siyempre ako ang gusto kong makita e ang katawan ni Gerald kaya pinabayaan na muna namin si Kuya Emcee para masilayan ang dalawa. Mygulay first time ko yung ginawa sa buhay ko. Usually hindi ko naman pinapansin ang mga celebrities kung sakaling me show sila sa mall or makita somewhere pero dahil pareho kaming curious ay nakiusisa na rin kami dun. Bongga ang security nila talagang parang buong kapulisan sa mall ay nakabantay na sa mga naghihiyawan na mga fans. At nung lumabas na ang iniintay namen ay najustify naman ang pagiging oa ng mall sa security at ang pagkabaliw ng mga katabi namen. XET!! Angwapo ni Gerald!! Angtangkad niya tapos ang kisig at marami pang iba. Ang akala ko dati ay normal lang ang height niya pero hindi pala. Mas matangkad siya sa inaasahan kong height niya hehehe (Hindi pa rin ako makagetover sa kagwapuhan niya. )Kaya naman pala siya naging artista. Anyways dahil sa nakaalis na siya ay bumalik na kami sa pupuntahan namin. Siyempre ay dumaan ulit kami ke Kuya Emcee (dahil sa pagpupumilit ng aking kaibigan) Punta kaming CBTL kaso lahat na ng socket dun ay sinaksakan na so kelangan naming lumipat sa kapihan ng bayan ang Starbucks. Sayang at me cutie pa naman doon na nagbabasa ng libro. Marami pang nangyari habang nasa Starbucks kami at siyempre hindi mawawala dun ang mga hombre na nakikita namin but the cocks are a crowing once again at me hint na naman ako ng antok pero kelangan ko na ring magayus dahil baka malate na naman ako...

Dreaming of a picket fence...

2010-05-30T22:01:00.002+08:00

I haven't been blogging lately perhaps because I am lacking of things that I could write of. Or perhaps its because I was too lazy to write what I've been thinking. Maybe its because I have found someone that I could tell almost everything. I just watched "A Single Man" and I want to have that kind of life. Not the tragic ending but the 16 years of living a domesticated life. Everytime I would see someone with a baby, I would often imagine how it will be nice to raise a family of my own but I know that its not as simple as it appears to be. I have to settle my own life before I could setle down. I think I may have found the person that I want to get settled with but I couldn't tell what the future holds for us. Heck, with the craziness of the world right now maybe 2012 may not be just another prediction...

Bad Puppy...

2010-05-21T16:52:00.002+08:00

I was so paranoid these past 24 hours kasi I really thought that I'm going to go loco. hahaha I was bitten by our new puppy dahil hinaharot ko siya at ang buong akala niya ata ay buto yung paa ko. Kahit na yung sugat ko eh parang kinagat lang ng langgam e naparanoid pa rin ako kasi I've seen what people with rabies look like. The whole night I was being so emotional thinking what would happen kung sakasakaling I go off the edge of sanity. Iniisip ko na yung mga linyang bibitawan ko just before I get insane. muhahaha Pero nung magpapaturok nako ng anti-rabies at sinabi ko dun ke ate na magiinjek sakin na feeling ko sumasakit yung paa na nakagat eh sabi lang niya na napaparanoid lang ako kasi super minor lang daw ang kagat ko. muhahaha Nagmoment moment pa naman ako last night....

Sobrang cheeessyyy...

2010-05-03T19:21:00.004+08:00

This is a line I wanted to quote because I think its sooooo sweeet. Kukunin kong linya to sa magiging wedding vow ko nyahaha.

" May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn't live a day without you. "

=p awwww naluha lang ako dun. Kung siguro nasa sinehan ako kasama siya at hindi ko lang yun pinanuod sa pirata na kasama ang buong pamilya e hahagulgol nako hehehe

Rabbit without Ears

2010-04-23T11:40:00.002+08:00

Keinohrhasen (English title: Rabbit Without Ears) is a 2007 German romantic comedy film, written, produced and directed by Til Schweiger. Co-written by Anika Decker, and starring Nora Tschirner and himself, the story of the film revolves around a philandering gossip reporter Ludo who reconvene with his ex-classmate Anna when he is sentenced to 300 hours of community service at her day-care facility.

Dahil sa nakita kong video ng Onerepublic sa youtube kaya nacurious ako sa movie na ost niya. A really nakakakilig, funny and witty film. Kahit na effort dahil kelangan ko pang ayusin ang subtitle na nadownload ko dito, it was all worth it. I am wishing I could get hold of the sequel for this movie.

Magawang business nga to...

2010-04-20T23:30:00.002+08:00

The damage is done...

2010-04-05T20:58:00.002+08:00

How can you move forward when someone betrayed your trust? Do you take in all the times that you've spent together and look past what wrong judgment he/she committed? Could a simple sorry enough for the doubt and hurt that you feel from the mistake that he have committed?

I know people deserve second chances but it is really difficult for me to give it to someone who already broke my trust especially if that person really means a lot to me. I am sorry because I am not the kind of person who could easily let go of things. Honestly, I don't know what we should do. I don't even know how to cope with the hurt and confusion I am feeling right now. This sucks. I love you and I miss you but I don't know if I'll be able to trust what you are telling me right now. I want to work this out. Believe me, I do. But right now, I am still not over it and you asking me questions that I still don't know the answers to is not helping...

awake in the dead of the night

2010-04-02T00:11:00.003+08:00

It's past 12 already and yet my eyes are wide open without even a hint of sleepiness. I was in the bed at around 10. I just tossed and turned. I think I am the only one awake in the whole house. I am thirsty but I'm much of a scaredy cat to get out of the room and get some water. What to do... what to do...?

Act your age...

2010-03-22T21:43:00.004+08:00

"Actually pinagdasal ko yun eh na hindi ka matanggap..." Seriously?! I mean seriously?! ( Meredith Grey tone) Nice!! Magdadasal ka na nga lang, yung ikakasama ko pa. Ok I get it. You all want me to do something that YOU all want me to do. It just hurts becauseI thought you were supposed to support me no matter what. Not pray for my demise just because its not something that you planned out. I know that you all mean well for me but please let me grow up in my own way. I'm lost right now. I'm saddened because the feeling that I have had with all of you aren't the same now. Once upon a time, I could tell everything and anything to all of you. Now I feel like a stranger. I have walls around me and I feel like a stranger to the people I adore before. I want to better myself but hearing you say that made me feel lost. It just goes to show that maturity doesn't really come with age... x(

Phobia 2

2010-03-04T21:31:00.003+08:00

Phobia 2 is a 2009 Thai horror movie dissected into 5 shorts stories; Novice, Ward, Backpackers, Salvage, and In The End. Actually the reason why I got this from my suking dibidi stall was because I thought that the actors on the cover were cute. And right I was. However I paid the price of not being able to sleep that whole night because this movie was FREAKING scary! I nearly screamed like a lady because of this. If only Philippine horror movies are this good. It has a very freaky and unexpected twist at the end which made me want to scour for the 1st installment.

Pwede ka ng magka-gf...

2010-02-27T02:05:00.002+08:00

I just talked to an aunt of mine and again it was time for me to laugh awkwardly and think of a really lame excuse. Sabi ba naman sakin e: "O pede ka ng mag-girlfriend." I think they think that I think I don't have the privilege of having a girlfriend rather than they thinking that I'm not interested on dating a woman or probably it was a request for me to have a girlfriend to make them think otherwise that I am truly gay even if gayness is just oozing out of my every pores. hahaha Gustong gusto ko sanang ibanat na me boyfriend ako ngayon kaya malabong magakagirlfriend ako so sinabi ko nalang na "I want to enjoy a single life muna tita." Kung magffront naman ako ng mga kaibigan kong babae as girlfriends e baka naman kung ano pa isipin nilang pagawa samin nun. eeeekkk. If only they could just say... "O kelan mo ba papakilala bf mo samin?" hahaha

Bente Sentimetros...

2010-02-03T17:46:00.002+08:00

With an "Almodovarian" twist and the flamboyance of The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert , director Ramón Salazar’s 20 Centimeters tells the story of Marieta (Mónica Cervera) a narcoleptic, transsexual who longs to get rid of 8 inches of equipment that separates her from being the glamorous woman she dreams to be. When she accidentally falls asleep in the most inopportune times, Marieta’s dreams become lavish and colorful musical numbers, where as a real woman she can sing in Spanish, French & English. So cue up the lights, powder that face and slip on that sexy gown because Marieta’s dreams are about to come true...

Winnur ang movie na ito especially yung mga dream sequence ni Marieta. Sana lang ganun kafabulous lahat ng panaginip ko. Kung ganito lang sana kawafu ng lahat ng kargador sa pilipinas ay hihimatayin din ako hekhekhek

Nangchichicks nalang ako ngayon...

2010-02-01T08:48:00.002+08:00

Kahapon ay wala nakong takas sa mga pinsan kong galing Baguio na kinatatakutan dahil sa:
a.) hindi nila masyadong iniisip ang mga sinasabi nila.
b.) may tendency silang mangeskandalo sa harap ng maraming tao.
c.) bata sila kaya hindi ko sila pedeng itulak sa hagdan o baliin ang mga kamay (not that I'm capable of doing those things.)

So pinasyal ng tito ko sila sa Ocean Park tapos zoo tapos dumiretso kami sa mga pinsan pa namin sa Taguig at so far walang nangyaring kahit anung eskandalo. Napagod lang ako dahil habang bitbit ko yung pinakamaliit sa kanila dahil ayaw magpababa sa takot niya sa mga hayop ay hinihila naman ako nung tatlo sa mga hayop na gusto nilang puntahan.

Nakauwi ako sa amin ng wala ni isa man sa kanila na sumigaw sa public na bakla ako dahil sa suot kong damit. May isang moment lang nung nakita nila yung commercial ng showtime dun sa bahay ng mga pinsan ko na sinabi nung isa na ako si Vice. Siyempre prepared na ako dun kaya bago pa niya maisipang isigaw yun sa mga kapitbahay nila ay kiniliti ko na siya sabay sabing taguan nalang kami. hahaha

Pagdating namin sa bahay ay hindi pa sila pagod kaya nakipaglaro muna ako sa kanila. Napansin pala nila na umalis ako nung isang araw kaya tinanong nila ako kung saan daw ako nagpunta. Tumambling naman ako nung biglang bumanat yung isa sa kanila na "Nangchicks lang yan si kuya." Leche!! Chicks talaga!! Sabi ko nalang inaantok nako at kelangan ko ng matulog.

Super Freak! Cirque Du Freak!

2010-01-30T22:08:00.002+08:00

Lots of quotable quotes such as "I'll ram my head up your a$%!!" and "Being human is not what you are but who you are" Lots of laugh and a really freaky movie and not your ordinary boring vampire movie. Looking forward to the next installment...;p

Chuecatown (Boystown)

2010-01-27T12:23:00.002+08:00

This movie is very funny especially the female casts. Besides that, there is a very sexy scene with Pablo Puyol at climax. I think I'm loving Spanish gay movies. That or their actors hehehe

Inhale... Exhale... Walk Away...

2010-01-25T22:21:00.003+08:00

Waaaahhhh!!! Unting unti nalang meron na talaga akong magagawang hindi maganda at baka pagsisihan ko. Sumasakit na ulo ko sa pagpapasensya sa kanya at me 2 linggo pa natitira. Gustong gusto ko na talagang sumagot ng pabalang!! Buti nalang me natitira pakong respeto sa kanya. Sana makayanan ko pa ng two weeks. Kelangan ko nalang talagang umiwas as much as I can kaso ako palaging hinahanap nito. Grrr talaga. Masusunog na talaga ako sa hell sa mga iniisip ko. Tama ba naman kasing lahat e pakielaman at lahat me komento. Yun pa naman pinakakinaiinisan kong ugali ng mga matatanda. Yung feeling nila e porket matanda na sila na alam na nila ang lahat. Yun rin yung reason kung bakit hindi kami close ng dad ko eh. Yun at yung pagkokomento niya everytime na me makita siyang bakla sa kung anu mang pinapanuod o pinapakingan niya. Siyempre nahuhurt ako kasi feeling ko hindi niya ako matatangap kung sakaling mag bonggang parade nako. Helllooo normal na mga bakla sa mundo!!! Get over it!!! Kaasar talaga. Matutulog na nga lang ako. XXX(

Muntik nakong maging straight...

2010-01-22T20:34:00.011+08:00

Kanina, habang ako ay naglalakad papunta sa malapit na suking mall ay may nakita akong babae. Ngunit hindi siya pangkaraniwang babae dahil hindi tumaas ang aking kilay sabay tingin mula ulo hanggang baba. Sa halip ay humanga ako sa hubog ng kanyang katawan. Ang kanyang mahaba at payat na binti ay mas naeenhance ng suot niyang pares ng pantalon kaya kitang kita rin ang bilugan at matatambok na likuran. Ang kanyang balat ay makinis at porselana na mas lumutang pa dahil sa suot niyang itim na tank top. Idagdag pa na bet ko ang suot niyang sapatos na mas lalung nagpatangkad sa kanya. Binilisan ko ang aking lakad para makita ko kung talikod-genic lang ba ang loka. Nang ako ay nasa overpass sinilip ko kung anung hitsura niya. Winnur si ate. Bihira lang ako humanga sa mga babae dahil kadalasan ay pinagtatawanan ko lang sila. So tuloy pa rin ako sa paglakad papuntang mall habang iniisip ko pa rin kung gaano kaganda at kaseksi si ate. Saktong nasa entrance ako ng mall ng biglang lumabas si kuya na male counterpart nung ate na kakakita ko lang. Biglang sunod sunod na silang nagsisulputan. Napangiti ako dahil nawala na sa isip ko si ate at pinaalala sakin kung bakit ko nagustuhan ang mga barako... hahaha

Kelangan ko na talagang maging bastos minsan...

2010-01-20T17:50:00.002+08:00

Minsan talaga kelangan ko ng maging taklesa at magpakabastos sa mga tao. Nagiinit na ulo ko kanina sa kanya kanina dahil sa kung anu anong pinapagawa niya sakin tapos hindi pa ako maayos na kinakausap. Pero nung tanungin niya ako ulit e hindi ko mapigilang sagutin siya ng maayos. haiiizzz. Ang hirap din ng sobrang bait. Kelangan ko ng mag-seminar ng pagiging bastos pero hindi ko naman alam kanino ako magpapaturo.... hehehe

Home at Last...

2010-01-18T11:55:00.007+08:00

I am back from a trip back to my province which I thought would be worse than before. Sobrang marami ng nagbago sa lugar na minsan kong kinasasabikang uwian. Hindi na siya kasing lively di tulad nung bata pako na probinsyang probinsya ang feel niya kasi maraming hayop, maingay mga tao atbp. Wala na yung maiingay na baboy na naging alarm clock ko nung bata ako tuwing papakainin sila tuwing umaga. Naalala ko tuloy nun na yun ang palagi kong pinupuntahan kasi aliw na aliw ako sa laki at ingay ng mga baboy kahit na mabaho sila at hinahanap ko kung me biik dun hehehe. Palaging highlight ng uwi namin nun ang pagkatay nila ng 1 o 2 mga baboy kaya nagigising ako ng maaga para lang makita kung paano nila gitlan ng leeg tapos ilalagay yung dugo sa planggana tsaka hahaluan ng asin ( me pagkapsychopath lang ang dating bata pa lang) Wala na ring mga sisiw na dati kong hinuhuli tsaka ko daw nilalagay sa loob ng lata at pagpapatung patungin ( na muntik ko ring ikabulag ng biglang nakawala yung nanay nila at tinuka ako sa mukha malapit sa mata) Wala na ring mga itik na kinukuhanan namin ng mga pinsan ko ng itlog na kakainin namin tuwing umaga. Higit sa lahat, wala rin yung mga dati kong kasama sa kakulitan ko. I feel so alone. Kasi ang mga pinsan ko dun ay 10 years younger than me. Yung mga tito at tita ko dun ay mas matanda rin sakin at siyempre ang natira ay ang mga lolo at lola ko. At dahil dyan napilitan akong aliwin ang sarili ko. Kung hindi ako naglalakad magisa sa baybay hoping na merong isang hottie na mangingisda (para magaling manisid) o kaya magsasaka (para magaling umararo) ay nagiging ulirang baby sitter ako ng mga pinsan kong super kulit, o kung di naman ay ginagamit ko nalang ang cam ko para di masayang ang pagkakacharge ko sa kanya. Marami sanang magagandang photo-ops kung kasama ko ang mga malalandi at mga hayok din sa camera kong friends. At least sa tatlong araw ko dun ay nailagan ko ang tanong kung me girlfriend na ba ako at hindi na rin ako sinugod ng lolo ko at sinabihan akong bakla ako hahaha actually mabait nga siya nung buong stay ko dun at tinitry niya akong biruin. Triny ko namang maging casual pero hindi ko na talaga maiwasang mailang sa kanya. Natouch lang ako sa sinabi nung mga pinsan ko nung nagbonding kami sa dagat at pauwi na kami... "Sana kuya dito ka nalang palagi"

Ito ang nagagawa ng walang magawa sa probinsya:

picturan ang lahat ng puno na makita kahit yung nabuwal na at magilusyon ng photoshoot
( gusto ko sanang magpichur ng nakahiga dito sa puno na to na parang fairy na natutulog lang)

hindi mapigilang magposing sa nabuwal na puno hahaha
(neutral pose nga lang)

picturan ang lahat ng klase ng ulap at halaman...

pati hayop buhay...

o patay...

at siyempre pichuran nalang ang sarili hahaha

Here We Go Again...

2010-01-14T08:41:00.002+08:00

One week and I'm already exhausted. I love my lola and I miss her terribly but right now she is getting into my nerves. I know she has good intentions as they all have had before when they tried to hard sell nursing to me and because I wasn't really decided on what to take up, I eventually gave in. But that is in the past, I have to get over it. Right now, I'm still a bum with a really messed up plan if there is any running on my mind. Now, she is trying to make me work in places I am so not comfortable to work in. Saudi!! I have heard from stories of friends who have gay friends that previously worked there and they have been adamant in telling me not to work in Muslim countries because gay people are prosecuted there. Talk about feeding me to the wolves. Demmit! I want to figure out how to work this mess of my life right now on my own and I just need their support, not them taking over my life.

Awkward much...

2010-01-13T22:08:00.003+08:00

Ang mga relatives ko sa aking father side ay kasalukuyang andito sa bahay ngayon. At katulad lang ng isang bonggang bonggang family reunion ay awkward time na naman para sakin. Buti nalang ay meron akong inasikaso buong araw kaya nakaiwas na naman ako sa mga tanong na hindi ko na dapat sinasagot at hindi na dapat nila iniuusyoso. Syempre napansin na naman ng lahat na medyo lumaki ako ng unti na tanggap ko naman kasi talagang mukha akong drug addict ng aking high school at college days. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit bigla nalang ako lumobo bigla. Ever since naman talaga ay hindi na talaga ako close sa kanila tapos ngayon na angtagaltagal ko ng hindi nakauwi at alam kung anung nangyayari sa life nila ay bigla silang magsusurprise visit... kaya ito ako ngayon nagtatago sa kwarto hahaha baka naman isipin nila snob ako... haiiizzz saan kaya ako magtatago sa mga susunod na araw sa probinsya???

Questions and Crushes...

2010-01-10T09:41:00.002+08:00

My grandparents recently arrived from abroad last Friday. At dahil ako ang walang ginagawa ngayon sa bahay, ako ay magiging personal alalay for the whole month. That night they were craving for ice cream at kelangang bumili ng sim card for them to get in touch with us kung kelangan. I accompanied my lolo to the mall at syempre we're having small talk along the way. Dahil aktibo siya ay naglakad pa rin kami pauwi kahit na medyo hinihingal nako sa pagakyat at pagbaba ng overpass habang me bitbit. Tapos biglang bumanat pa siya ng, "O me girlfriend ka na ba?" Tatambling sana ako kung wala lang ako bitbit eh. Dinaan ko nalang sa halakhak sabay sabing wala pa tapos awkward silence na. hahaha kasi naman bakit kelangang maging intrigero lahat ng mga kamag-anak tungkol sa lovelife ng mga kamag-anak nila. Sasabihin ko sana "Lo boyfriend po meron ako..." Kaso baka hindi nako bigyan ng pasalubong hahaha. Tapos next week ay sasamahan ko namang umuwi sa probinsya ang lola ko. Effort. E ilang taon na nga akong hindi umuuwi dahil sa nangyari sakin dun eons ago... waaahhh for sure hindi lilipas ang time ko dun na hindi ako matatanong nun or worse hahaha...

Dahil na rin sa andito ang lola ko ngayon ay napa-comeback din ako sa loob ng simbahan. Hindi na kasi ako regular na napapasimba dahil sa @) Indian yung pari at hindi ko siya maintindihan kaya parang wala rin. b) minsan ay walang sense ang sinasabi ng mga pari at parang namumulitiko lang c) tinatamad lang ako hehehe. So kanina akala ko Indian na naman yung pari kaya natetempt nakong sumakay ng trike at lumipat ng simbahan. Pero mukhang mapapasimba nako every week kung siya na ang aming official parish priest dahil parang crush ko na ata siya hahaha (masama ba yun?) Kahit na mukhang slightly aged na siya ay me hitsura pa rin tapos me sense of humor (nagjoke kasi siya sa homily) at nakakainlove yung boses niya (Kumanta rin kasi siya sa homily) waaaahhh mapupunta na talaga ako sa impyerno hahaha

It's Been A Year...^-^

2010-01-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

Time is quick and it's been more than a year since I met you and we've been together for a year now. I just want to thank you for putting up with all my craziness and drama this past year. Thank you for loving my flaws, for always saying I love you and take care, for always understanding me and not picking fights, for making me laugh, for being vulnerable and saying what you feel, for making me feel safe with you, for your sweet gestures, for your hugs and kisses, for being spiritual, for your faithfulness, for not being perfect. I love you so much and I hope we'll have another year to go... ^-^

Me Galit sa Mundo Teh?!

2009-12-28T00:42:00.002+08:00

Bumisita kanina sa bahay ang pinsan ko at dahil na rin sa pagkasabik niya na me makasamang tao ay hindi na niya namalayan ang oras at inabot na siya ng 12 bago niya maisipang umuwi ng bahay. (Cinderella lang ang drama?!) ((hehehe naalala ko tuloy yung time na nabuko ako ng mga kaklase kong lalaki nung grade 4 ako na kumakanta ng cinde-relli cindere-lli dahil nabobore nako sa klase at pinanood ko lang ulit siya nun)). At dahil inutusan ako ng aking nanay ( naisip ko rin naman na yun) ay inihatid namin sa sakayan ang pinsan namin. So kwentuhan lang kami ng kwentuhan ng biglang nabulabog ng isang crash ng bote sa harapan namin. Siyempre nagulat ako plus tingin sa pinanggalingan ng pagkabasag. Naguluhan pako dahil parang wala namang second floor yung building kung saan me boteng nahulog. Hanggang sa bumulaga sa harap namin si ate na hawig nung bida sa The Grudge at ng ordinaryong palaboy. Mygod scary talaga siya. Siyempre kelangan poise pa rin, mamaya habulin pa kami e tipong samin siya talaga nakatingin. So dedma ke ate, tuloy tuloy pa rin sa paglakad sa sakayan kahit na gusto ko na talagang tumili sa takot. (Kung di ko pa kasama pinsan at kapatid ko baka napayakap pako ke kuya na nakasabay namin na mukhang cute ahehehe) Aba si ate di natuwa sa pagbasag niya nung bote at kinuha niya yung isang kahoy at nagpulpok naman ng mga metal gates nung mga shops. Di ko na kinaya yun at talagang pinasakay ko na yung pinsan ko ng kahit anung masasakyan niya sabay lakad ng mabilis palayo habang pinipigilang tumili at syempre mukhang kalmado pa rin. Yun pa naman isa sa kinakatakutan ko, mga baliw na hybrid taong grasa. Nawala tuloy antok ko si ate kasi me galit sa mundo...

M is for the Mistletoe...

2009-12-10T11:30:00.003+08:00

Habang ako ay naglalakad pauwi kanina ay may nakita akong mga bulilit na nagppraktis sa covered court malapit sa aming munting tahanan. Napangiti lang ako dahil naalala ko yung mga panahon na ako ay mumunting bata pa. Nung time na nageensayo ang buong klase namin sa classroom o kaya dun sa open area sa kalagitnaan ng araw ng mga iba't ibang christmas songs with matching actions pa. Naalala ko pa na ingat na ingat ako lagi sa props namin at costume dahil syempre gusto ko bongga ako sa mga pictures at hindi mukhang sabog tulad ng mga brusko at mahaharot kong kaklase nun. At syempre tanda ko pa rin yung time na nagperform kami sa entablado nung ako ay nasa Prep ng Christmas Alphabet tapos kumalong ako ke Santa para mag-wish. I just wish ganun pa rin ka carefree ng life ko ngayon. Pero ngayon imbes na ako ang kakalong ke Santa, mukhang ako na ang kakalungan ng mga bata sa laki ng aking tyan kulang na lang ang costume. Imbes na props at costume na lang ang iintindihin ko e mga adult stuff na ang aking iniintindi... hainaku makakanta na nga lang ng GaGa

Bouncing Back...

2009-12-06T18:06:00.002+08:00

1 month to go at matatapos na naman ang taon. Time really fly so fast pero parang angtagal ng taon na to. Naalala ko nung mga panahon na to last year e bagong salta ako sa isang munting hospital sa San Mateo nagppraktis ng sayaw para sa Xmas party. This year has been a real rollercoaster ride for me. The later part of the year was really painful for me pero I know that somehow it made me stronger and changed my perspectives about some things in life. Right now, I'm trying to pick myself up, get back to my usual self and hopefully 2010 would be a better year...

Patulugin niyo ako...

2009-10-28T23:37:00.002+08:00

Waaah!! Kelangan ko na ng tulog kaso mukhang hindi ko maatim na makatulog ngayung gabi... Habang ako ay nakahiga at malapit na pumunta sa dreamland meron akong kakaibang naramdaman dito sa kwarto at feeling ko me kasama ako ng biglang merong malakas na nagpop na kung ano. Leche talaga!!! Nawala tuloy ang antok ko. Waaahhh... Sakto talagang ako lang ang mag-isa sa kwarto at nakasara na ang ilaw. I just hope one time incident lang to at hindi na umabot hanggang Halloween...

Honest Mistake...

2009-10-27T21:28:00.003+08:00

Me nangyari na naman sakin kanina na maisasama ko sa listahan ko ng embarassing moments of my life. Habang chinecheck ko kung meron pang mga residenteng hindi pa nakakapagayus syempre tinignan ko ang bawat sulok ng ward. At nasurprise with a hint of hiya ako ng nakita ko yung isang wafung patient na kakatapos lang maligo at palagay palang ng twalya. At siyempre tamang tama rin na nagkatitigan kami habang ginawa niya yun... waaahhh naalala ko palang nagiinit nako sa hiya. Buti nalang mabait siya kasi hindi siya nagamok at sinabi lang niya sakin "Ok lang yun" sabay tapik sa braso ko then smile nung nag-sorry ako sa kanya sa nangyari.... waaahh hindi ko tuloy alam kung nangtetempt pa si Kuya. (Gagana pa kaya ulit yung reason ko kahit na hindi na siya honest mistake next time? ahihihi)

Elemental Damage

2009-10-03T07:18:00.002+08:00

It was a week that I won't forget for the rest of my life.

Flood:

It was another rainy Saturday morning and even though the weather was conducive to sleep I went to our duty not knowing that in hours I would walk in the flooded streets of the Metro. I was still complacent while I was on the train back home knowing that our street in Marikina never ever in my history living there reached the knee part. Everyone was at awe when we reached Sta Mesa because we couldnt see the road anymore. The whole area was flooded. We could only see the hood of the cars parked. The usual bridge on the creek near U.E. was lost underwater. I only felt the intensity of the situation when I saw the Marikina River which is usually just around the edges of the riverbank even when it rains. Everyone was shocked when we saw it at the edge of the bridge. I received a text from my mom telling me to not go home anymore since the water was already waist deep at our street. Then I heard that Ligaya was already chest deep. We opted to just stay at a friends house. At first we were relieved that the flood there was just ankle deep. Then flood came in without warning. Within the hour we were already knee deep. I was worried sick the whole night because the last text that I got from my mom was that the house was already flooded.

We were off early Sunday morning. We walked for an hour from Santolan to Marcos H-way. The scene was like it was taken off from a sci-fi movie. Mud was everywhere. Cars were at stand still and people were walking in every direction. When I reached the overpass I was surprised that there were still flood in Marcos H-way. I was more surprised when I reached our subdivision because the flood was still waist deep. I acted on my better judgment and went ahead because I wanted to be home and see how they are.

Fire:

Tuesday night. I was out because I had to go to the family doctor to have a check up since I was having diarrhea. I probably got it when I waded to the murky waters of the flood. I was about to go on the train when I got a call from my brother telling me to not go home anymore because there was a fire a house away from ours. I almost broke down at the train station. I was sobbing on my way to W's place. After what happened at the flood, then now this and everytime I wasn't always around to see my familys safety.

Electricity:

Thursday night. We were still living like we were in the Middle Ages. We were playing a deck of cards when I saw a spark outside the window. I went to the window to examine further and lo and behold sparks were flying like it was New Years Eve on the electrical line just outside our house. Panic ensues once again in our household. Good thing was Meralco was just outside our house after a few minutes.

Now everything is getting back to its normalcy and I hope it does. I couldn't sleep last night because of the incoming storm. I was checking up on our street to see if it is flooded. I just wish for a ray of sunshine for the whole year.

Funky dreams...

2009-09-07T04:08:00.002+08:00

I think I should stop watching any crazy ass shit on the tv or movies because it is disrupting my sleep. I think it was just days ago when I woke up crying because I dreamt that W left me and wouldn't take me back. Now, I woke up with a heart attack because of another funky dream:

I think the setting was futuristic since the transportation is not land based but aerial. I was either
a.) a spy or
b.) I was part of a big syndicate and I was

a.) sabotaging their plans or
b.) I was betraying them or both.

Either way, I was on a ship (like the one the villain on Up had) and I knew that the leader as well as the other members knew what I was up to but they were being mum about it. I was already thinking of my escape plan since I know that I'm already dead meat. Then the leader went to my room to see if I was already settled in. We talked and I knew that he was just waiting for me to slip. Then he asked me to buy him something and I knew that this was just a trap. Then someone called him up. By this time my mind was racing of all the scenarios that I could do to escape. Then he was already at my back then he pushed me towards the window and I was falling then I woke up. Epekto ata to ng sobrang pagkaadik ko sa Lost at 24... hahaha

Why I love you...

2009-08-24T00:30:00.002+08:00

In one of our conversations W wondered why I fell in love with him. He could sometimes get too hard on himself, somehow belittling himself. So I told him some of my reasons why I did. "Hmmm na-in love ako sa iyo kasi sweet ka... mabait... pasensyoso etc.." ( hmm ginagawa lang kaya niya yun to make me stroke his ego? hahaha) So I asked him: "E ikaw bakit moko love?" His reply was "Hmmm mahal kita kasi mataba ka, lagi mokong pinapagselos, isip bata etc..." (atalagang inuna niya ang pagiging mataba ko sa listahan ng dahilan kung bakit niya ako love... grrr) Sabi ko "Bakit parang wala naman atang positive sa mga sinabi mo?" Ang sagot lang niya eh: "Hindi naman dapat lahat positive eh" And I thought I was going to hear some good stuff.

Honestly, W wasn't my ideal guy. He is shorter than me, younger than me and let's just say that sparks wasn't there on our first date. However in time, little by little all the criteria that I made were broken down by W. Yes he may not be model material but I smile whenever I try to picture his face. He made me a sucker for love stories. When we saw Up, I cried over the love story of Carl and Ellie. I cried because I was picturing our love to be like that. I was wishing that we could be like them. Growing old together. (ok maybe not too old kasi ayoko talagang tumanda as in matanda... ayan napaiyak na naman ako just thinking about it) I love him because he is my total opposite and yet he understands me completely. I love him because he makes me laugh and appreciate simple things. I love him because of all that and many more...

Take note...

2009-08-04T23:28:00.004+08:00

Just when I was to give up on everything including us, He texted me this : "Basta alam ko masaya ako pag kasama kita. Ang buhay talaganag may ups and downs. Dapat minsan kelangan natin magsacrifice para sa taong mahal natin. Yun ang ginagawa ko kasi mahal kita. Gusto ko lang makita mo kung gano ka kaimportante sakin." I almost cried when I read this but I was in the public so sinupress ko but it made me realize how unfair I was to him and reminded me again how great his love was. I think I'll be ok.

Jaded

2009-08-04T01:48:00.002+08:00

I cant sleep. I've been thinking about what happened last weekend. How people could be so insensitive and unappreciative to someone. About how friends suddenly change just because they found another company or how they don't value what you've had together because of something. About how fragile a relationship is. One day you're bonded like steel and then burnt the next second. I am questioning abot my own relationships and right now I'm jaded...

X marks the spot...

2009-07-14T22:31:00.003+08:00

Talk about awkward. Earlier this afternoon, habang hinahatid ko si W sa kanyang opisina dahil nagkita kami saglit at sinamahan ko lang siyang bumili ng mga gamit niya ay mayroong isang pangyayaring hindi ko inaasahan. Para lang siyang eksena sa isang pelikula, yun nga lang mas mabilis ang naging pangyayari. Dahil sa kagustuhan niyang ihatid ko siya hanggang sa pintuan ng kanilang opisina ay nagkatagpo ang landas namin ng kanyang x for 3 years na nangyaring kawork niya ngayon at kaklase ko nung college. 200 meters palang ay namukhaan ko na siya. (s$*&^% si *&^*&!!) Ok poise kere lang tuloy ang lakad. Kahit na a part of me just want to go to the other way to escape from the awkward moment. Lumagpas kami. Nag hi siya ke W. Deadma. Nag hi siya sakin. Hi ng labas ng ilong naman ako. Bakit ko papakitang apektado ako. Wait bakit ba ako apektado hahaha. Hindi ko rin alam. Siguro kasi hindi kami close ever since college. Siguro kasi ayaw ko lang isiping na for 3 years naging silang ng taong minamahal ko ngayon. Basta alam ko mas maganda ako sa kanya hahaha.;p

500 ka lang talaga kuya...

2009-07-02T11:19:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I was happily plumping myself away. Then I overheard two kids (kids talaga younger lang sila sakin ng 2 years). The guy was telling the girl to register for the upcoming elections since they are eligible to vote by then. The girl was hesitant at nawindang lang ako sa panghikayat nung guy sa kanya. "500 din yun" Nainis lang ako ng unti at muntikan pang magsermon kaso pinigilan ko nalang ang sarili ko. I don't think of myself as a patriot. Heck, I already gave up that this country will change for the better. Lalo na kung maraming katulad yung lalaking narinig ko na kayang kayang ipagbili ang sarili niya para lang sa 500 pesos. Kung maraming katulad nung babae na naghehesitate na makialam sa magiging future ng bansa natin. Kung patuloy pa ring magpapadala ang karamihan sa kung sino ang sikat. Alam kong kahit ako hindi ko pa alam kung sino ang iboboto ko sa 2010 pero hinding hindi ko ipagpapalit ang essence ng pagiging Pilipino para lang sa 500 pesos...

Lost and Found...

2009-06-18T12:37:00.003+08:00

In life you lose a lot of things. Simple things like a key, handkerchief, wallet etc. to the most valuable ones like friends, loved ones or even yourself. Before, I always get too affected whenever I lose something. But I got a taste of the real world. You cannot guarantee anything to not get lost. And if you do found them again, it may be too late. You may have found a replacement for it or it doesn't have the same value as it were before. Things happen or maybe I'm just being cynical after having a 24 marathon. hehehe

butterfinger

2009-06-17T11:23:00.002+08:00

Everyone has their ideals. Yesterday, I longed for mine. I doubted myself probably because the weather wasn't cheery enough. But I needed that. It is often in times of hurt that you get to see who matters.

Flu Fiasco

2009-06-05T23:44:00.003+08:00

Napaparanoid nako sa kapaligiran ko ngayon dahil sa kumakalat na inluenza a h1n1 virus. Lahat ng umuubo at sinisipon ay pinaghihinalaan kong baka carrier nito. Iniisip ko na ngang magsuot ng mask kaso dyahe naman yun hehehe. Sa sobrang pagkaparanoid ko my imagination naisip ko ang mga eksena sa mga zombie movies kung saan ambilis nilang "manghawa." Kaya wala na munang public life for me not unless it is definitely safe to our in the public that often. I really hope that they'll resolve this quickly but since we are in the Phils. isang malaking goodluck nalang... haizz

Issue ba talaga yan???

2009-05-29T07:47:00.002+08:00

Hainaku naiirita na talaga ako sa lahat ng atensyon na binubuhos ng mga tao lalu na ng pulitiko sa issue about the sex scandals of Hayden. I don't know much about the legal system pero kelangan ba talaga senate pa ang mag-hearing sa kanila? Hindi ba dapat mga mas seryosong mga bagay ang tinatalakay ng senado imbes na ang drama ng mga celebrity? Napakarami ng mga sex scandal na lumipas pero bakit hindi naman nila pinansin before? Honestly, I don't feel any sympathy towards Katrina Halili over this. Ginusto naman niya yun eh. Kung hindi siya nakipag-sex kay Hayden magkakaroon ba siya ng video? Tapos ngayon gusto niyang palabasing biktima siya? Celebrities...

Just Enjoy the Show...

2009-05-23T08:39:00.000+08:00

Bitten by the Lovebug...

2009-05-18T12:59:00.002+08:00

Grabe na to!!! I'm so over emotional these days. Bawal na sakin ang mga mushy stuff dahil palagi nalang ako napapaiyak or worse mapapahagulgol. (Star Trek opening) I can't help myself. Mukhang sobrang inlababo nako sa kanya. I could already see myself having a future with you. I'm scared of what's going to happen to me if things won't work out but right now I just want something that would make me remember how you made me so happy and grateful to have met you... =)))

Ay Kuya napakapayat mo...

2009-05-14T06:15:00.002+08:00

Habang ako ay nagbabaybay (dugo ang ilong) patungong Philcoa kahapon, nainis ako sa driver nung jeep at ang kanyang ever dependable partner barker. Humihirit kasi sila na kaya hanggang dose ang jeep nila. At dahil hindi na sila makapagsakay nagpaparinig na sila sa mga pasaherong medyo healthy. (Hindi ako kasama dun) Nakakaasar lang kasi sya rin naman e mataba. May ibang tao talagang walang breeding.

Mak+Blast

2009-05-10T07:01:00.002+08:00

I had a good morning, slow afternoon and a fun evening yesterday. Another bonding moment with a bunch of good friends and meeting of new people courtesy of Mak. A laughing trip ensues after our vocal chords were exercised. And to top it off I spent some qt with my B after. Happiness.

Starting my day with a prayer...

2009-05-09T07:40:00.003+08:00

I'm not a religious person but I was touched when B texted me this prayer:

"Thank you Lord for another beautiful day. Thank you for not letting him give up on me. Light our way for eternal relationship and walk with us once more today." Amen.

This really made my day.;p

hope this one lasts...

2009-05-06T12:37:00.002+08:00

My former template got trashed because of something about photobucket. I got frustrated because I really wanted that design to be my blog's look for the rest of my blog life. That's part of the reason why I haven't had the urge to write even though I had lots of things that I wanna write about. New layout again. Hope this one lasts...

Ramblings again...

2009-04-13T19:45:00.002+08:00

I have a lot I wanted to tell you but I just can't because I don't want to see you hurting...
I'm sorry I'm the most unstable person you've ever met. I admit I tend to be impatient and easily bored and that you become my personal punching bag. Yes I dream of having a future with you but the cynic in me sometimes thinks otherwise. I know there is no forever and I'm doubting whether I am that strong of a person to make it last that long. But I want to. You make me feel secure whenever we're together. That you'll want me for the rest of your life. I don't know. Things change.

Batangas Blast

2009-04-06T09:15:00.004+08:00

A trip that has long been overdue. Me and my classmates from A01 finally got together for a summer outing. Even though there were people who backed out, delays and the limited time to spend together. We had a freaking good time just catching up, hanging out again and another great excuse to let out our cam-whorishness(nyahahaha). I really hope that we make this a yearly affair... hehehe

Nice campaign...

2009-04-02T08:42:00.003+08:00

moments ito...

2009-04-01T19:45:00.001+08:00

Natural na ata sakin ang pagiging reklamador ko dahil kahit na maayos ang lahat ay makakahanap pa rin ako ng pede kong ireklamo hehehe at dahil dun natanong ko siya...

A: Bakit ba lagi kang umo-oo sa lahat ng gusto ko? Hindi ko tuloy alam baka napipilitan ka lang...

B: Kasi gusto ko kung anung gusto mo. Masaya ako pag masaya ka atsaka hindi ko naman gagawin ang hindi ko gusto eh...

A: (Kahit kinilig na di pa rin nakuntento) E baka lang kasi nawawala ka na dahil sakin...

B: Ikaw nga ang kumukumpleto sakin pano ako mawawala...

Kala ko hindi ako magkakamoments ng ganito... I'm really happy I found you ;p

Y

2009-03-29T08:24:00.002+08:00

Why does it have to feel like this?

Why do I have to be in constant thought?

Why does it have to be this way?

Why the complications?

Why do I not care?

Why am I asking these?

Mission Impossible?

2009-03-26T05:28:00.002+08:00

It's frustrating that everytime I see a friend of mine from college the first comment out of their mouths is "uy ang lusog mo" Feeling ko tuloy obese nako. Alam ko medyo lumaki ako ng unti pero I'm trying to work on it. At ngaung nalalapit na ang summer outing ng college friends ko. Mas lalo tuloy akong napressure sa pagbabawas ng timbang. Hindi naman ako pedeng magpalipas ng isang meal dahil nga me hyper-acidity nga ako. Mission: 2 weeks na super exercise nyahaha Effort naman to hindi naman ako mataba...

Back Again...

2009-03-19T12:03:00.003+08:00

After being disconnected for what seemed like ages, I am connected to the net once more. (Damn that wretched Surabaya virus!!!) Sino ba kasi nagiisip na gumawa ng mga ganung?! Hindi ko tuloy na-blog ang Watchmen na akala kong kasing ganda ng 300. Ok lang rin naman siya pero medyo matagal nga lang. Nakakadistract pa si Dr. Manhattan most of the time. Isa pang disappointment ang Race to Witch Mountain dahil ang akala kong exciting e hindi naman pala. Buti nalang cute yung guy na alien dun. Looking forward for the summer films like Monsters vs. Aliens, Wolverine, Star Trek, Transformers, Harry Potpot at marami pang iba. Hindi ko rin na blog ang latest coffee hangout, A's exploits sa buong hospital at ang frustration ko over W's X. Good thing I'm back again woohoo...

Harder Better Faster

2009-03-03T12:47:00.003+08:00

All Nighter...

2009-02-08T05:56:00.002+08:00

This is a weekend to remember yet again. The girls from work and I went somewhere with blaring lights, slow music and bodies gyrating sensually for all ogling eyes to see. And even though our plan didn't end up as we had planned earlier which was to just stay there for 2 hours then go to a club and dance the night away. Since most of us were first timers and most of our kachings went poof to the beverages which were way overpriced.( A Sprite for 150. ) We opted to just stay and fill our eyes with amazing sights. This was our only outing that we didn't get any photoops but one of the most memorable yet.

With practically no sleep I have to head off somewhere only W knows where and spend the rest of the day with him...=p

Siya at ang kanyang Sagwan...

2009-02-05T15:56:00.002+08:00

Yesterday Me and Mckey went to the UP Film Institute to watch the premiere of Sagwan. The event was just emailed to me by a friend and I became interested because the photo for the movie looks promising. We were surprised at how many people turned out yesterday night because the whole place was jampacked. We didn't even got a seat since we were too shy to see if they were selling tickets already. Since we already put an effort going there we might as well watch the movie even if we have to stand. Personally, the movie had its moments especially when Marimar was on the scene. Somehow I didn't get the whole point of the movie. Was it about the love story of Cecilia and Alfred? Was it about Alfred's search for his sexuality? Was it about the issue of hustling in the river of Tatalon? Somehow all of those didn't really seem to connect to me.

Happy Hearts Month...

2009-02-01T05:19:00.001+08:00

-from roborange

6 Months and Fighting...

2009-01-25T09:24:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was one of those rare days where I got to do something for the whole shift. And it was to bag and monitor a pre-term baby. It was very hard to see the expression of the family as they saw their tiny baby fighting for her life. What's even harder is to hear that the attending physician not telling them the whole truth just because they dont have the means to afford the necessary procedures and equipments to give that baby a chance. I know it will just be a slim chance but he shouldn't have told the family that we didn't have any incubator just because he knew that they couldn't afford it. It was just sad to think that a person who swore that they would save lives would trade money over life.

Ang saya naman ng trabaho na to

2009-01-13T16:14:00.002+08:00

6 months

100k dollars salary

3-bedroom beach home complete with plunge pool and golf buggy

tapos ang gagawin mo lang ang magstroll sa beach, snorkel, picturepicture, mag-blog at magpainterview.

"Best Job in the World"

APPLY here

A Different Kind of Bonding Experience...

2009-01-11T18:48:00.003+08:00

A supposedly overnight swimming turned into a different kind of bonding experience with my friends yesterday. Instead of opting to go to the boondocks to swim and freeze to death. Ja changed the location to somewhere we could relax and still have some fun in the water. So we went to a spa facility near Roxas. I heard Ja's account of his experience here as well as Michael's since both of them have been there before and I am anxious of the part where we have to be nekkid when you're going to use the pool since I haven't lost my holiday fats and I'm a very shy person.

When we got there, I was kind of in shock with the environment because I'm not used to people just letting it all loose. What's even awkward is to have to see your friends nekkid. I have to filter out the images I was getting. It was kind of liberating once you get used to it. I caught up with Jeje and Ker who I haven't seen in a while. After the massage, we headed over to Starbucks to bond over a cup of coffee courtesy of Maki (thanksthanks angyaman talaga nyahaha) I had a really good time last night and even though my whole body is sore I'm rearing to go another time... I heard someone's birthday is coming up (hemhem)

Kill Me...

2009-01-08T20:14:00.003+08:00

When I was a teeny tiny boy still confused how the world works, I dreamt of living a long life. Today, I really need to think of hiring someone to kill me at a certain age. Although I do want to experience life for as long as I could I don't think I could bear the different things associated with old age such as wrinkles, flabby and sagging parts, illness and disease, being dependent and so on. I assisted on a case today involving a very very old grandma who has an ulcer on her perianal and sacral area. During the operation, I need to perform manual evacuation since the area must be kept clean and for the convenience of the surgeon itself. Even though I don't have the right to be squirmish about these things because this is the profession I vowed to. I really can't help it since never in my whole life did I dream of having to manually get someone else's shit. That was definitely an experience, not very pleasant but still an experience.

Anuka Anak ng Diyos...

2009-01-07T10:03:00.003+08:00

Surprise, surprise. The universe pulled a prank on me. hahaha. Earlier this morning I received a text message from a big hospital informing me that I was scheduled for a training program for their staff nurses. I was more than surprised since it could be a big break for me. I called everyone who I knew had the experience of the screening process of that said hospital and they were as surprised as I am since I haven't really undergone any process at all. I haven't even answered the initial exam. They told me to confirm and so I did. Lo and behold they forwarded my number under a different name. Akala ko pa naman anak nako ng Diyos nun with all the good things coming my way... nyahaha

Red...

2009-01-06T23:04:00.001+08:00

I hope this bliss will last the same day next year... ;p

The Year I Hope Will Be...

2009-01-01T18:07:00.002+08:00

2008 whizzed by so fast and now is the start of another year that hopefully will be better than last year. I think most, if not all of the plans that I have made the previous year didn't happen because I lack commitment. So this year, I really need to COMMIT to everything that I am doing. I have to commit to not eat so much since my waistline is alarmingly HUGE. Besides that, hopefully I could get to commit to join a good friend to go to the gym which I am so freaking scared of because I get intimidated by the gorgeous bodies around me. (not to mention that I might not be able to work out since I'm staring at someone) I definitely need to commit to be on time in every appointment that I have since I haven't been on time ever on most of them last year. A good friend of mine even lectured me on that bad habit of mine. (Painful) Last year, I lost a couple of friendships and hopefully this year I could commit to not lose any and just gain a couple more. Last but not the least, I really hope that I get to have my break on my career so I need to commit on getting one.... ;p

Mushy Christmas...

2008-12-24T15:48:00.003+08:00

- nagpapakamush ngayong Pasko dahil sa isang teddy bear.... ;p

Get Real

2008-12-21T15:22:00.002+08:00

" I'm sick of feeling totally alone. I wanted to have friends who like me for who I am. I want to be part of a family who love me for who I am and not someone I pretend to be to keep that love. I'm sick of hiding, of being sad and scared... It's only love. What's everyone so scared of?"

- Steven Carter

Another heart wrenching love story. Christmas na Christmas nagmomoment ako ngayon dito sa kwarto. At least nakakuha ulit akong idea on how to come out to my family. Kaso wala nako sa high school.

Is this a date??

2008-12-18T00:37:00.002+08:00

I went out with someone again yesterday on what I think was a date... hehehe hindi naman sinabi nung kasama ko eh inaya lang nya akong lumabas. At mejo humaba lang ang hair ko because of his sweetness. He was late on our meeting time pero he made up to me by giving me chocolates. He treated me for a movie and dinner at lumabas pa siya ng cinema just to get me a straw kasi nakalimutang ilagay sa plastic. Gusto pa akong ihatid sana sa amin. Feeling prinsesa na sana ako kaso hindi ko naman alam kung date ba yun o hindi...

Kunyari demure...

2008-12-13T11:30:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was our hospital's Christmas party and happy was an understatement of what happened the whole night...

I came later than what was our supposed call time to prepare for the presentation that we were supposed to do in the program and there weren't much people around yet in our department. We checked our music and its skipping like crazy. Not to mention that there was still a patient waiting to give birth that night. So everyone was a bit down that afternoon. Good thing the mood changed when we were changing to our outfits and I was in for a treat. We thought of painting our faces but changed our mind at the last minute. Since I already bought the face paint, I suggested that the boys in our department paint their bodies instead. At first, they didn't like the idea but they changed their mind. Since they are too scared to touch each others bodies, they made me paint on them instead. OMG!!! I had to put on my serious face the whole time. Kelangan hindi ipahalatang nageenjoy ako at professional pa rin ang dating. B who I think has the nicest body in our department keeps on flexing his tattoed chest while I was painting on him. I got to paint on A's body too which would have turned me on if I still had a crush on him. (Sorry M). All that plus a lot of pics taken made it fun even if we bombed at our dance. M thought of going to the ward to get our pics taken with both of our crushes. J and M. She introduced me to them and had our pics taken. Bliss. Since everyone wants to continue the fun, we went out with a couple of the doctors there to Timog to continue the party at Barrackz. Had a couple of booze and danced all night. It was a night to remember indeed.;p

T.D.T.E.S.S.

2008-12-11T23:10:00.002+08:00

This movie is somewhat like "An Inconvenient Truth" with a sci-fi twist. A very good movie but I was irritated with the kid in the movie. I wished he would've been eaten by the microscopic bugs instead. But I guess that was part of his role. Very scary if it would happen in real life especially with the environtmental crisis we are in right now. (Tip: Let the alien speak to the presidents)

Love of Siam...

2008-12-06T11:15:00.002+08:00

The Love Of Siam

" So I have one question. If we can love someone so much? How will we be able to handle it the day when we are separated? And, if being separated is a part of life, and you know about separation well. Is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid to lose them? At the same time, is it possible that we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all? That's my loneliness... I know just how bad loneliness feels. I fear it will continue to get worse." - Mew

Bolt is b-awsome and redunculous...

2008-11-28T16:10:00.002+08:00

Kahit na ayaw ko ke Miley Cyrus ay pinanood ko pa rin ang Bolt kasama ang mga kapatid ko. And the movie was great. Much better compared sa Twilight (bitter pa rin) hehehe. Mejo gumilid pa ang luha ko sa isang scene dun. At me bago pakong word na natutunan... b-awesome and redunculous.

Twilight nga talaga...

2008-11-26T23:03:00.003+08:00

Dahil sa adik ako sa libro at dahil crush ko ang gumanap ng Edward at James dito sa movie kaya isa ako sa mga nanuod sa unang araw ng screening ng Twilight. Buti nalang dito lang kami ng isang friend ko sa SM Marikina kung saan hindi gaanong karaming tao ang nanonood. And the movie was true to its name. I didn't feel the same "kilig" moments or the suspense of the chase. Its another case of an adaptation gone wrong. Sadness. Thank God for Robert Pattinson

My Very Own Survivor...

2008-11-17T22:40:00.003+08:00

It's been three weeks since I started to work as a nurse in a hospital and I'm done on my "honeymoon stage". I somehow sensed the tension between the staff of the area where I'm volunteering in weeks ago but I just affirmed it last Saturday and somehow I already am part of the drama.

Saturday afternoon: I know there was a party for a sister of a staff there because I was hearing talks amongst the staff about it earlier that week. Since I was new, I didn't really care whether or not I was invited. I somehow figured that there was drama in our area when the staff that I was with during that shift openly talked about the feeling of dislike that they feel from the group who went to the party. Since I didn't want to be part of their drama, I just stayed silent in their conversation. Not knowing that I was already part of it.

Monday morning: Somehow my day started bad. Just when I thought I was a mere audience to their drama, I somehow felt I was a part of it already. There really is a group and I was on the outside. All day, they were talking about what happened in the party which made it hard for me to relate. Then I learned that A who came in a week later from me was invited.

It feels like I'm in Survivor. People talking in groups. in hushed voices. People talking behind each other's back. Just when I thought I was making a connection, it turns out I am on the chopping block. I just wish there was immunity here...

Off to the max...

2008-11-15T12:14:00.003+08:00

Dahil off ko nung Biyernes, nangati na naman ang aking mga paa para lumabas at mag-unwind. Nakipagkita ako ulit ke Ms. A. at nakipagkwentuhan lang buong gabi. Sayang hindi nakasunod si M.

Wala akong balak na umalis ng bahay nung Biyernes pero hindi ko na talaga matiis na hindi panuorin ang Madagascar 2. Kaya inaya ko ang kapatid ko para panuorin yun. Tapos tumawag pa si JD para sabihin na nagiinvite si Ate C na mag-hangout later in the evening. At dahil hindi ko pa siya ulit nakikita since nung pagbalik siya from Japan. I opted na pumunta na rin. Naisip ko na rin na dumaan sa tambayan ng isa pang friend ko nung h.s. na nagaayang makipagkita for some time kaso laging conflict of sched. since aalis na rin naman na ako. I had a blast last night from the really funny film (kaso parang ang iksi) to seeing my h.s. friends again( na nagiba lang ang mga hitsura) and also getting to see some new ones. Goodluck talaga sa pagtitipid ko...

Synonyms...

2008-11-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

Axis: syn. definition: a straight line through a body or figure that satisfies certain conditions;

- the main stem or central part about which plant organs or plant parts such as branches are arranged;

- serves as a pivot for turning the head;

- the center around which something rotates.

haiiz hindi naman ako adik sa kanya?! hehehe sino ba namang hindi ? ikaw ba naman hawakan ang tummy mo as a sign of bati sa iyo...ahihi. (super kilig). Sana lang maging magkasked na kami next time para maaya ko siya na manood ng twilight. ahihi. (kinikilig na naman) nyahaha. Next week kelangan talaga makuha ko na number niya baka maunahan pa ako ng mga lecheng salot dun. Maganda pa naman ang sabi ng fortune cookie ko kanina: "Talents are meant to be used. Use whats given to you and don't squander oppurtunities presented to you." Sana talaga hindi siya straight nyahaha...;p

Good Day Gone Bad...

2008-11-10T20:14:00.002+08:00

I just had a great start this morning. It wasn't raining. The FX that usually takes long to be filled was almost full when I got there so I didn't have to ride a jeep this morning. And to top it all off there was a new volunteer in our area who was a real hottie so I was perky all day. Until it was time for me to go home. I was supposed to be out by 3 however they made me stay up until 5 to practice for the dance number that we ( which I really wasn't too happy about) are going to perform on the Christmas party of the whole hospital. I was raring to go home because I was tired but they have to make me learn the really complicated steps they thought of. Not to mention that there was a new schedule that was made and my new crush and I will not have any sched. together for the whole month. sadness. My head was killing me when I was going home. I was feeling a little bit better when I was already walking home. I was on my usual way home but went around a puddle and I slipped. I thought the mud that I was stepping on was hard already but it wasn't and I freaking slipped and almost fell on my face. Good thing there was no one around because for sure they'll laugh their butt off. Now I have two abrasion wounds on my knee and one on my elbow. If only A was there to make me feel better...

1st Day

2008-11-03T15:55:00.004+08:00

It was a day that didn't started right but definitely ended nicely. Today was my first day to be in a hospital setting yet again. And I didn't get any sleep because I was tossing and turning. But all the anxiety was gone after I've met the people who I'll be working with. They were all friendly and accomodating and funny so it wasn't hard for me to be at ease with them. I was oriented to the instruments and the different areas that I'll be handling including the responsibilities that will be expected of me. Now I really will love coming to work. But there's a catch: All of the guys are straight; I have a crush on one of them; They think I'm straight too and wants to invite me to their drinking sessions.

Crash and Burn

2008-11-02T11:55:00.003+08:00

It was a night you already planned to be spent with your friends. Until they came. They sneakily worked their way with the crowd without you knowing. Until it hit you. Surprise. Not a good one though. Suddenly all hell breaks loose. You feel nauseous. The fun just stopped. They crashed, you burned.

Looking forward to November...

2008-10-28T19:57:00.003+08:00

I just had the best news yet this week which is for me to be a volunteer on a hospital in the department where I so want to work. OR here I come. Yay! The only catch is I have to try to be peppermint and be as discreet as possible since the doctor who made it possible for me to have a spot there is a friend of my dad's friend. Talk about complicated. I'm just happy-scared for what will happen to me next week. waaahhh but I'm happy I get to be in a hospital again... ;p

I need something new...

2008-10-26T21:16:00.002+08:00

I'm trying to keep myself positive right now. I've been pretty calm and collected this past weeks. But the sleepless nights I had this week plus several events that happened over the weekend got into my safe place and now I'm cautious that I may be pulled back to my not so happy place. I have to try and think of something new to do tomorrow...

Si Common friend...

2008-10-24T00:51:00.002+08:00

I went to see a friend na matagaltagal ko na ring hindi nakakabonding, si Miss A. We catched up on whats been happening with each other at dahil na rin sakin ay nasama na naman sa usapan si C who used to be our common friend. He used to be someone I really treasure. Pero ngaun yun na nga lang ang titulo niya sa amin. Si Common friend. I guess pili lang talaga ang mga friends na makakasama mo hanggang sa tumanda ka.

Way Stupid...

2008-10-18T22:47:00.002+08:00

The hard drive which I impulsively bought crashed and all the files I backed up are gone. I'm so stupid...waaahhhh.

I knew it...

2008-10-17T00:19:00.000+08:00

You Are 63% Pure

You're pretty pure, and you have no plans on changing that.

You do have a devilish side though... and it will probably get the better of you.

The 100 Question Purity Test

Akalain mo yun..

2008-10-16T17:15:00.002+08:00

Dahil sa madali lang ang aking naging transaksyon sa Cardinal kaninang umaga. Naisipan ko nalang na manuod ng sine para lang hindi masayang ang ineffort ko sa paglabas ng bahay. Naisipan kong panuorin ang Max Payne dahil mukha naman syang kanaisnais na pelikula base sa trailer. At as usual sana trailer nalang pinanuod ko. Maganda ang special effects kaso nabore ako sa story nya. At dahil dyan kaya naisipan ko nalang pagmasdan ang mga kakaunting tao na kasama kong manood. At dahil kakapirangot lang ang kasama ko sa sine madali kong napansin ang isang couple na kakatwa na napili nila na yun ang pelikulang panuorin. Bakit? Kasi parang hindi nila maappreciate yung movie dahil sa age nila. hehehe natuwa lang ako kasi kahit na uugod ugod na sila at meron ng hawak na baston ay nageenjoy sila sa barilan ang eksena. hehehe

Plans...

2008-10-13T21:51:00.002+08:00

I just came to another realization today. Try to live without or as little plan as possible. I know I've made a lot of plans earlier this year and and most of them didn't work out the way that I had planned them. Growing up, I know I made a time map of myself that I would be at this point at this age not knowing that things change and that life is so uncertain. I have to not stress so much about what the future holds and just work out things that are in the present. I'll still have my goals but I'll scrap the timeline...;p

Mawalang galang lang...

2008-10-07T20:27:00.002+08:00

Kaninang umaga pumunta ako sa isang institution for special children to see if I qualify to be a volunteer there since I'm not doing anything productive as of this moment. I had a talk with the lady who manages the institution and then she said "Mawalang galang lang ha..." Uh-oh. I knew what she was going to ask next. "Gay ka ba?" I said yes. And then she told that she has nothing against gay people as she has relatives who are like me. Pero pinangaralan niya ako about how the kids are innocent at walang malisya at dahil dun madali silang maabuso. I wanted to roll my eyes. I know that. All children are like that. I understand where she is coming from. I know that she is concerned about the kid's welfare pero sana lang she wouldn't make any assumptions about a person's character based on their sexuality. I felt discriminated after that. I went there with good intentions tapos lumabas pang I don't have any right to take care of children. Being gay doesn't equate to you being a bad influence.

Panaginip lang pala...

2008-10-06T06:47:00.002+08:00

Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong matuwa o madisappoint sa napaginipan ko kagabi about my mom. Hindi ko na matandaan ang buong details tungkol sa dream ko pero ang moment na talagang nagstuck sakin sa panaginip ko e yung inout ako ng mom ko. I knew I was talking to someone and my mom was there and then all of a sudden she made a comment about how she knew all along about me and I was dumbstruck. I wanted to ask her questions but then there was a blinding light and I was back to reality.

Saling KetKet

2008-10-05T08:21:00.002+08:00

The Three Kingdoms

I am fond of watching foreign films and one of my favorites besides French are Chinese films. That's why when I saw that this was already screening in the cinemas I persuaded J to watch this instead of doing something else while we were waiting for the rain to stop. The sound effects was great but the usual chinese fight scenes which I am fond of was lacking. The story was ok but the title threw me off a bit because I was expecting that it was about three kingdoms however it was just about two of the three kingdoms at that time. All in all it was an entertaining movie but it wasn't as great as Hero, H.O.F.D. or C.T.H.D.

bumbumbedumbumbumdedumbum

2008-10-02T23:48:00.002+08:00

Waaahhh... Me insomnia na naman ata ako. I'm sleepy but I just can't seem to get some sleep hence this rant in my blog... malibang na nga lang ang sarili ko...

Moments sa Kwarto...

2008-10-01T05:33:00.004+08:00

At dahil wala akong masyadong ginagawa ngayon, ginugugol ko nalang oras ko sa pagdodownload at panonood ng gay-themed film. At dahil dyan nagkaroon ako ng mga moments na umiiyak ako ng mag-isa sa kwarto ko. Ang mga saralin:

Beautiful Thing

Bangkok Love Story

Coronation night daw oh... (naloko na naman ako)

2008-09-27T09:00:00.002+08:00

Dahil sa depressed mode ako kahapon at biglang nagaya ang isa kong friend na samahan siya sa supposedly na sinasabi niyang pageant night daw ng Mr. and Ms. Pharma ng isang university. At dahil gusto ko na ring umalis ng bahay at makacatch up with him, I opted to go. Natuwa naman ako sa mga contestants dahil in fairness pinangiti lang nila ako saglit kasama ng isang host nila na kwela. Disappointing kasi ineexpect ko ang question and answer portion kaso launching palang pala ng mga contestants at hindi pa talaga contest proper. Sadness. We had dinner and hanged tapos nakipagkita sa isa ko pang friend and catched up with each other. My night wasn't what I expected but I still had a good time.

Don't wanna get stuck again...

2008-09-26T16:15:00.002+08:00

My enthusiasm and positive outlook on me being a full time nurse is starting to wane. With what happened with the agency and almost all if not all of the hospitals that we've scouted having no available positions to offer. I try to be cool about how hard it is but it is taking its toll on me. And to think there will be thousands, no, hundreds of thousands of people aspiring to be nurses... I need me some uppers right now... sadness

I got duped...

2008-09-25T19:58:00.002+08:00

I recently found out that the person who was managing my application for my NCLEX examination resigned from the agency. Whats worse is that the money that she collected from the nurses who trusted her went to her pocket. Now I have to re-apply my application for NCLEX, thinking of doing some legal action and on top of that most of the local hospitals that me and my friend went to today doesn't have any opening. I was drenched by the downpour, my feet hurts like hell from all the walking and I have lots to think about. I hope "Baby Mama" makes me forget about all of this later... haiiizzz

Need a Dose of Vitamin C...

2008-09-20T05:19:00.002+08:00

Mukhang kelangan kong uminom ng gallons of Vitamin C and other supplements from now on dahil yesterday evening, I got sick and was burning up the whole night. Buti nalang medyo ok nako ngayon but I still have a sore throat. Ibblog ko pa naman sana na merong Shake Rattle and Roll 5 sa magaganap na Metro Manila Filmfest dahil kahapon e nagshooting sila sa ospital na pinagdutyhan ko. At in fairness nakakatakot ang mga supposedly na aswangs.

Sana ganito kaganda boses ko...

2008-09-18T16:11:00.002+08:00

Looking forward to this...

2008-09-18T16:11:00.000+08:00

Nakakapagod na nakakatuwa...

2008-09-17T21:45:00.002+08:00

I am gearing up for my quest of becoming a full fledged nars with a job on this country. At para magkaroon ako ng chance para sa ginintuang tawag ng mga ospital o kahit klinika man lang, kelangan kong sumailalim sa IV therapy.

At ngaun ang start ng completion ko ng aking mga cases para matawag na akong IV nars. Nakakakaba dahil hindi na naman ako nagaral ng notes ko before this day. At ang laman ng utak ko pa rin hanggang ngayon ay ang seminar na inatendan ko last week about Advanced Cardiac Life Support at ang pagkamangha ko sa sarili ko ng pagbasa ng ECG. Kaya lagi ko uling binabalikan mentally ang mga nangyari nun.

At dahil excited ako at ayoko na ring mapahiya sa unang araw ng completion nageffort talaga akong gumising ng maaga. At dahil dun nakita ko rin ang isa sa mga intern na pinagdemohan ko nun kung saan tinawanan ako dahil confident kong sinagot ang kanyang tanong kahit na mali ito hehehe. (Buti nalang may short term memory loss rin ata sya katulad ng isang kakilala ko hahaha)

Masakit ang paa ko nung pauwi nako sa kakalakad sa buong ward namin o di kaya dahil sa tagal ng pagtayo ko. Muntik nakong atakihin sa kaba dahil hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang sinasagot ko sa nars na in-charge sakin at ang kasama ko pang isa. Nakakapagod at nakakatakot pero at the same time natutuwa ako dahil at least nagsisimula ko nang magawa ang pinaghirapan ko ng almost 5 years.;p

Survivor blah!

2008-09-16T08:10:00.002+08:00

Kahapon nagstart ang Survivor Philippines which I personally think was a bad idea since I am a fan of Survivor and I don't think they could pull it off like the original Survivor series. Pero dahil curious ako I gave them the benefit of a doubt and watched it. OMG!!! Mangagaya na nga lang hindi pa gawing maayos. Terrible is an understatement. Una, kelangan ba talaga kahit ang style ni Jeff Probst sa damit e kelangang gayahin? Pati ang location nila ginaya rin. The opening scene of Survivor which is usually exciting and grand took forever. At kelangan talaga mega detail si Paolo sa pageexplain ng nangyayari sa mga castaways with matching side comments na hindi naman talaga necessary dahil uhmmm obvious na naman yung nangyayari diba. At anung nangyari sa gagamitin lang nila yung mga damit nila na suot nila e binigyan rin sila ng raincoats at appropriate shoes!! Survivor nga ba ito?? Pero di lang yon kelangan talagang ipakita ang puzzle na kelangan nilang gawin e kaya nga tinawag na puzzle eh para ittry nilang ifigure out yun. At supposedly e neutral lang si Paolo e tinuruan niya kaya yung guys team dun sa rewards challenge. Talk about fairness. At ang pinakamasamang ginawa nila sa format ng Survivor e hindi pala ito 1 hour show once a week kung hindi EVERYDAY!!! Anu pang excitement dun?? E yun yung rason why I'm looking forward to the next episode because for sure something unexpected happened pero ang isang buong linggo ng crappy episodes!!! Dapat talaga iban na ang paggaya ng mga international shows kung hindi rin naman nila maeexecute ng maayos!!!

(Medyo naghihimutok lang dahil binaboy nila ang Survivor series e fan pa naman ako nun hmph)