Kill Me...

When I was a teeny tiny boy still confused how the world works, I dreamt of living a long life. Today, I really need to think of hiring someone to kill me at a certain age. Although I do want to experience life for as long as I could I don't think I could bear the different things associated with old age such as wrinkles, flabby and sagging parts, illness and disease, being dependent and so on. I assisted on a case today involving a very very old grandma who has an ulcer on her perianal and sacral area. During the operation, I need to perform manual evacuation since the area must be kept clean and for the convenience of the surgeon itself. Even though I don't have the right to be squirmish about these things because this is the profession I vowed to. I really can't help it since never in my whole life did I dream of having to manually get someone else's shit. That was definitely an experience, not very pleasant but still an experience. 

6 comments:

Dabo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dabo said...

heto medyo harsh... i always believe a nurse is almost equal to human capacity to care and compassion: do you have this understanding when you write "b.s. nursing" on your school registration form?

i guess not. anyway this is your diary. and brave words of admittance still.

sencia na. i hope that kills you.

lazy john said...

@dabo: hehehe thank you for your honest opinion. i don't think you got the idea of my entry. I wasn't complaining about me having to get the poo. I was saying that I want to die young because I don't want to experience old age. And yes Nursing is not the coure that I'm truly passionate about but I do care about the patients I handle.

wanderingcommuter said...

hahaha. oo nga naman dabo yun dina ng basa ko. hahaha. wala alng maasar ka lang talaga.

anyhow, lj (naks, LJ---hahaha), i think lahat naman sa atin takot tumanda. no one really wants to feel like a burden, useless, worthless at lahat ng mga less... but on second thought, you could see growing old is the phase of your life where you could pause and contemplate on how did you spend your life and eventually appreciate every single bit of it before you could close your book.

yun lang naman ang tingin ko... gusto ko din ng honest opinion ha?! hehehe.

lazy john said...

@wc: nyahaha LJ talaga... ilikeit... nyahaha alam ko naman na yung old age is really a part of a person's development and according to Erik Erikson the late adulthood stage is the time where you reflect on how you lived your life and it is where you develop despair or ego integrity. (nosevleed) pero honestly i'd rather not experience that and die young. magrereflect nalang ako ng mas maaga. nyahaha

Dabo said...

hehehe