Exposure ito...

Kahapon, naisip ng trainer namin na masaya siguro kung parurusahan ang mga malalate. At dahil sa nakipagkwentuhan pako sa net ke JM, ( OO Sinisisi kita JM!! hahaha) nahuli ako ng pag alis ng bahay. 30 minutes before the time nung nakasakay ako sa lrt2. Kumakalam na ang sikmura ko dahil hindi pako naglulunch at ang sabi ng trainer namin 3 pm na daw kami magbbreak. After 10 minutes ng train at 5 minutes ng paglalakad nakaorder nako ng lunch ko sa isang fast food chain. 15 minutes before mag 12. Kaya ko pa yan. Baka malate rin ang mga tao ngayon , sabi ko sa sarili. 12:05. Late naman yung relos sa office. Kampante pako na kumuha ng tubig bago ako dumiretso ng room dahil 12 sakto sa relos ng building. Nagulat nalang ako ng sabihin ng trainer ang pangalan ko at sinabing kelangan kong magperform sa harap pagkatapos ng laro namin. Huuuwwwaaattt?! Hindi tuloy gumana ang utak ko sa laro namin sa kakaisip kung ano namang performance ang gagawin ko. Cartwheel sabay hairflip habang tumatambling kaya?? Baka masyado silang mamangha... Hindi naman ako pedeng magcatwalk kasi ang iksi ng runway (hahaha) Ayaw pang magpaextra nalang ako sa isang performance yung isang nagmamagandang babae dun. hmpf! Effort ito. Sa lahat ng ayaw ko exposure. At dahil sa wala na kong maisip at talagang pinepressure na kami ng trainer namin na magperform now na!! Kung hindi, mas lalu niyang dadagdagan ang percentage ng audience impact sa criteria of judging wala nakong nagawa kundi gumigilinggiling sa indayog ng musikang Awstralyano. Sinayawan ko pa ang boss namin sa harap ( baka sakaling mapromote) hahaha . Most Embarrasing Moment in the Office for Now. Kakahiya kahit na ako ang may pinakamalakas na applause (naman!!) hahaha

Rain+Singlehood=Drama

"Sometimes we are in love in the idea of falling in love, Loving the illusion of having or missing someone"

I hate rainy days since I became a part of the adult world. Not only because I don't get a free pass to have that day off unlike when I was a kid. But it makes me feel a bunch of crappy things. Laziness to get my butt up to work. Grumpiness that I have to trudge on muddy streets and bring an umbrella. (Though I try to look at the brighter side of things by thinking I'm Rihanna hehehe) Ickiness whenever I get a cold and have to blow my nose every 5 sec. And the worst feeling is loneliness that I don't have someone that would hug and cuddle (and other stuff couples do) to make me feel warm.

Yesterday wasn't an exception. Not to mention, I was trying to clear things up between two friends of mine who just had a misunderstanding. Because I didn't see or hear the things that happened, I just connected the pieces that were given to me by the parties involved and try to make sense of what really happened. ( Note to self: Don't pass out on a party so that you'll get a first hand account of the juicy happenings) Its good that everythings ok now and theres going to be another party this Sat.

The season is getting to me already. I try to keep positive and just be happy in the company of my friends and family. Alas, I'm just human and I do feel sadness. I try to rationalize the pros and cons of having a relationship again just to stop longing and be back to my happy perky bubble. I don't want to cruise on the net any more but I'm hoping that maybe on the next click the guy that I'm looking for is there waiting...

Confessions...

Sometimes it is hard to keep secrets especially if you have lots of them that you have to keep mum about. What makes that even harder is that you have to be silent about it because they are from your friends and about your friends.

A friend confessed that he likes a friend of ours. There is nothing hard about keeping that. The thing is I know that another friend of mine also likes that person. Now I'm caught in the middle...

I'm So Grounded...

After being snubbed by my friends last Friday, I asked JM whom I missed hanging out with to see a movie. Nagdedemand pa siya na kelangan ko siyang ilibre when it is him who is earning lotsacash. Tumawag din ang isa ko pang friend na nagaaya na magreview sa Starbucks. At dahil nasa mood akong magbasa at magsipag. umoo naman ako. Edi review ng 2 hours sa Starbucks tapos lipad agad sa Rob. Galle para panuorin ang Boy Culture. In fairness maganda yung story not to mention na ang hottie nung lead character. While we were watching, nagtext naman si Deej another friend of mine asking if we were free tonight para sa house party niya na hindi ko na inexpect na matutuloy. So after the movie we went to see Jannoe who I left in Starbucks. At nakipagkita naman kina Ker at Jeland to go to Deej's house party. I thought na hindi ako masyadong tatamaan dahil nga hard ang ininom namin at mas malakas ako sa hard kaso I was the first one out. They put me to bed then I awoke at meron ng komusyon ang nangyayari. Apparently they decided to leave me out of the scene. Nung nagising nalang ako there were drama all over. At syempre I didn't want to be left out kaya bangon agad ako para makiusi. Maraming naganap pero effort magblog lalu na kung wala ka pang tulog. At dahil ngayon lang ako nakauwi, sa tingin ko grounded lang ako...

Alone on a Friday Night...

I was feeling to hangout tonight with some of my friends unfortunately they all have their own plans and I was left alone on a Friday night. I couldn't do anything about it so I just went to get a haircut then I bought two tubs of ice cream to comfort me. I hope that I could get out tomorrow...

Random Ramblings...

Because we didn't do much during the day our trainer thought of having a payback by making us stay 30 minutes more than our usual time which sucked not to mention us thinking about the tests that we have to answer tomorrow.

On the way home, I saw a lot of things that made my brain think. I saw a guy with a really cute pants and hot body emphasized by his body hugging shirt. Being a person who appreciates beautiful things, I began to wonder when will I get the initiative to go to the gym and work for a body that is as hot as his.

I got on the train and tried to seclude myself from the crowd in the corner listening to my music. While we were on the tunnel underground, a reflection of a cute guy caught my attention. ( Mere coincidence? I hope not hahaha) Anyways, I again merely appreciated the beauty that God created. hahaha. However, while I was looking at his reflection, I couldn't help but notice the sadness in his eyes. (Correct, sensitive talaga ako sa pagsense ng mga feelings ng tao merely by looking at their eyes) I got curious as to why he could be so sad that it emanates from his eyes.

I got off at the last station still intrigued at the man's plight but I know I wouldn't know it anyway so I just dropped it. I was ready to calmly go down the staircase when a group of rowdy constru guys suddenly brushed me on my way down. Made me roll my eyes and think if they are just plain barbarians or maybe they just ate some really bad food during merienda. Ignore mode nalang ako.

At last, isang sakay nalang at pede nakong magpahinga. Kaso me isang pahabol pa na torture sakin. A guy offered me to seat first with me beside the driver. I thought he was sweet. (Probably smitten by me hahaha I wish) Then the driver came in and I freaking knew that he was did that for his own convenience. The freaking driver smelled like he hasn't took a bath in weeks. My goodness. If there is something that I really hate, it is smelling really foul smell. The whole ride was torture. Buti nalang nakontrol kong magcomment ng "Manong me naimbento na pong deo. Minsan po itry niyo." hahaha

While I was walking towards the house, I was thinking about what I was thinking about on my way home and why was I thinking so much this night? hahaha I was thinking why am I so eager to help a stranger who I think is sad, why it is unusual for us to say good things about someone else thinking that they might perceive it as something else? Am I being too nice already or am I just expecting too much from everyone else? Am I really living or am I living off from other people's lives? Would someone also see my reflection and want to cheer me up?

Why Am I Sad Again???

I went online, opened my ym and saw nobody around. Somehow because of that, I got lonely again. I missed my old friends however I know that I couldn't depend on them always because we all have our lives to live. I have made new friends at my work but I still missed the things that I usually do with several of my friends. That and I just got hit-on by one of my co-trainee who by the way is committed (again). Why do I always have to play the mistress role. Good thing I didn't give in to my worldly desires and opted to go home instead. I'm just praying that a party of my friend would push thru over the weekend so that I'll get a boost again...

Life is Short...

This morning, my mom told me that our grandma in the province just died last night. What a news to start the day. I wasn't that close to my grandma since she was living in the province and we rarely see each other. I only remember her for the one scene that stuck in my mind. It was when we were on vacation and went to her place. It was summer then so she treated us to her fave halo-halo place and toured us around town. I couldn't recall her face anymore however I remember her as the lively and fun grandma she was when we visited her. It made me realize just how fast life could pass by. Rest In Peace Lola Gunding....='(

Keeping the Positivity going...

For the first time in years I feel like going to mass without my mom urging me to do so. I guess I just felt that I needed to thank God for the blessings that He has given me this couple of months. I made some new friends, bonded with old ones, although I still have some issues with my family I'm still happy they are with me. I have to keep this positive energy going for me and just always look on the brighter side...;p

I wish everyone would stop asking me that question...

Dahil gusto kong uminom ng water pumunta ako sa kitchen namin kung saan naghuhugas ang aking kapatid at nakatambay naman ang tito at tita ko. Pinagbanlaw ako ng kapatid ko at dahil kelangan kong maging mabait sa kanya pumayag ako not knowing na meron pala silang pinaguusapan ng tito at tita ko at nadamay pako sa kaguluhan nila. My aunt asked me, "Me gf ka na ba?" tawa kuno tapos sinabi ko nalang na "Gastos lang magkagf eh" (leche hindi kami talo noh) At hindi pa siya nakuntento sa pangtotorture sakin. May follow up question pang kasunod. "E may nililigawan ka ngayon?" Isip naman tuloy ako ng magandang dahilan... "E gastos nga lang po yung panliligaw tita" (hainaku kelangan ko bang ipagsigawang hanggang friends lang talaga ang turing ko sa mga girls???) Akala ko tapos na siya sa paghohotseat sa akin but wait meron pa talaga siyang naisip na follow up question. "E nanligaw ka na nun?" (ayaw talaga akong tantanan haiizz) Sinagot ko nalang siya ng oo kasi akala ko matatapos na siya dun but wait nakaisip pa siya talaga ng isa pang tanong (The Buzz ba ito?? Hindi pako ready... pedeng no comment nalang) "E panu ka naman manligaw?" Buti nalang umeksena na yung tito ko at siya na ang nagkoment dahil wala kulang na siya sa exposure hahaha. Dinalian ko nalang maghugas bago pa ulit makaisip ng iba pang tanong na hindi pako handang sagutin... I wish my family would stop asking me that question already...

Reflections of a Sober Man...

As I was walking towards the house na mejo ngarag pa from yesterday nights party, Napagisipisip ko yung sinabi nung isang guy na nameet ko kagabi. "Why are you wasting your time?" (di exact words... yan lang yung impak sakin nung sinabi nya pertaining to my profession. Am I really wasting my time? I dont know pero alam ko naman sa sarili ko na I'll be working in my field. For now I'll cruise by muna. hehehe Tapos nakita ko yung mga bata sa overpass na umagangumaga eh nagaadik na sa rugby. Again another thought hit me. I'm so lucky to be living a life like I do. Simple lang pero at least I have a family to come home to, a shelter over my head as well as friends to run to when I have problems. Lakad pa rin papuntang bahay at nakita ko yung park sa subdivision namin. Lagi ko tong dinadaanan pagpasok sa work at ngayon ko lang naappreciate yung ganda niya. Medyo nasurprise pa nga ako na hindi ko yun napapansin pagpasok ko everyday. It is like a picture perfect scene. Again another thought hit my head. I should learn to open my eyes and see the beauty in everything kasi sometimes we tend to pass by something that we take for granted. Thus hindi natin nakikita ang hiddne beauty niya... (Minsan magana rin pala ang bangenge ka ng unti) hahahah;p

Its Official: I hate beers!!

Last night was fun. I just got back home from a party that I attended to last night and it was full of surprises. I met a lot of new people including a batchmate of mine in college. Small world. What struck me was that he was a changed person. We weren't close however I was shocked at first to see him embrace his sexuality since when we were in college he was straight acting. But then I got over it since I could relate to what he has gone through. Another surprise of the night was when a close friend of mine revealed something unexpected which just rocked my world for a minute then I got over it since what he told me doesn't define him as a person and it doesn't change how much I care for him. I was still ok until there weren't any drinks available anymore except beers. Since I have no choice I had to drink beers. Just before I finish my 2nd bottle I was already tipsy and swaying to and fro. Since the night was young I drank a few more and just as I expected I'm close to passing out. Good thing I was assisted by Jano and Ker (a newfound friend) and eventually I have to crash over Jel and Ker's place. (I think I made a fool of myself... not sure) It was a fun night and I learned that I need to stay away from beers from now on.... hahaha goodluck.

Here are my shoulders...

After a long day from training. (me sipon kasi ako the whole day na nawala lang nung uwian leche)
I went home immediately at meron lang akong nasight na cuteness na guy sa LRT2. hehehe sayang hindi siya puwesto sa tabi ko. So hindi nako umasa na makikita ko pa sya ulit pero lo and behold at nakatabi ko pa sya sa loob nung fx. hehehe (The Secret) So natuwa naman ako nun kaso meron pa pala akong kaagaw sa yummy guy na yun at yun ay ang tukling sa harap nya. Si yummy guy ay pagod na pagod at natulog lang sa buong byahe. Kakaawa nga kasi super sway ang ulo ng lolo niyo. Muntikan ko nang hindi mapigilan ang sarili ko na sabihin. "Ito o sandal ka nalang sa shoulders ko" (in my most caring yet pamintang way) hehehe. Sasabihin ko pa sana pagbaba niya, "Alam mo malapit lang bahay namin dun ka nalang kaya matulog" ahihihi;p

Kala ko gumagana na ang Secret... tsktsktsk

I was feeling extremely happy for no reason kaninang umaga when I woke up. Kahit Mom ko nagtaka dahil I wasn't in my normal "tamad mode". I had a surprise when all of a sudden my tita gave me money for something that she owed me which I couldn't even remember I gave her. Just what I needed especially I'm at the brink of bankruptcy. hehehe. I felt like my day is going to be great already. So the day went by with me nagging my good friend JM of trying to find me a good alter station because he was going to go to the gym to scout some guys around and couldn't accompany me to his personal alter station. Good thing he did and I went by there to have the shirt that I'm going to wear to my friend's b-day bash this Friday altered just after I have a chit chat with two of my good friends Jan and Mich. And because I have to wait for the shirt. I had a large dinner literally... 2 slices of pizza and a hotshot's meal w/ rice. I went home after feeling very good about myself because the price is a fraction of what I was supposed to pay at an alter station in Gateway and it would take them forever to make it. Only to be bummed out when I get home because my mom is nagging about me pursuing my career already... Just when I thought I was mastering the art of the Secret... Sayang (Boyfriend na sana nasa isip ko nun eh)

The Number Cannot be Reached...

At dahil hindi ako nakapagblog kahapon nawala na ang enthusiasm at ang idea ko kung pano ko isusulat ang mga nangyari sakin this couple of days. Friday pumunta kami ng Laguna to go to a celebration party ng isa sa aking newfound friend na si Jeland dahil he recently passed the bar. (hehehe pede nakong magkakaso) At dahil sa ayaw naming magbyahe ng mainit napagdesisyunan namin ng kasama kong si Janno na bumiyahe ng maaga. Supposedly ay imimit pa namin ang isa pa naming friend na si DJ who was supposed to come kaso hindi rin nakapunta. So nagbreakfast nalang muna kami sa KK habang naghihintay ng directions from Jeland. Kami ang unang dumating sa kanila na mga bisita which meant na kami rin ang me pinakamaraming nakain dahil 3 beses namin kelangang bumalik para makisabay sa mga batch ng bisita ni Jeland. hehehe. Masaya dahil lumawak ang network ko hanggang Laguna. At habang lumalamon kami ni Janno pinagdedebatihan namin kung anong gagawin namin after nung ke Jeland. At dahil ayaw pa naming umuwi sa bahay we opted to chill out sa Malate. Kumain (na naman) ng dinner sa isang jubersarap na barbequehan dun. Tapos kwentuhan galore sa Starbucks. Dun we met some people. Me nakausap ako dun saglit na guy na cute and he gave me his number before we parted. He seemed like a nice guy and I wanted to give him a ring kaso ito ang message na narinig ko... The number you dialled cannot be reached... haiizz

It's that time of the month...

OMG... its that time of the month where I get to blankly stare at couples holding onto each other trying to ask myself when will I get to experience the same thing. Where I get super sense of sight to get a glimpse of cute guys around and check them out. Where I think of dirty little things on my mind again... then I remember my promise to myself to not get involved sexually with someone unless I am in a relationship and he get tested first... Just looking forward to a party that I am going to on Saturday... maybe my prince is there hahaha...;p

New Faces...

3rd day of training and so far it's been fun. We all had a surprise when there were four new additions to our batch. (Still no cute guys) bummer. hehehe. There was drama brewing this early though. A batch mate of mine got hurt emotionally from a comment made to her during lunch by one of us. Besides that, there wasn't really any interesting thing that happened during the day. Good thing I saw a couple of my friends on my way home and another couple of cute guys which made my day...;p

Work again...

I just got home from the first day of training of another work for a call center and this day proved to be interesting. There weren't any cute guys in our class...=(. Good thing that there are a lot of interesting people around and our trainer was really funny. The whole day felt like an English class and someone from the class reminded me again of my profession and how temporary this job is... For now, I'll just have some fun.;p

Time to Change...

I just finished watching "The 11th Hour" and it hit me. That I may not live till old age. hehehe ok mejo negative lang pero still it made me think of the ways that we as a people are destroying the earth just to satisfy our desires. Pero it just refueled my desire to change for the better just like when I watched "An Inconvenient Truth". This time I have to stick by it. I have to change... and also be an instrument of change...;p

Negative can be good news...

I'm still tired from what I did yesterday but I have to get out of the house to go to my future workplace for the supposedly job offer. However they made us wait for a long time before starting the orientation because their expected people didn't show up for some reason. Good thing the guy who kept us company and oriented us was pleasing to the eyes. I went directly to the clinic where I had some tests done to me a month ago to get the results which I am anxious to know. It was on a sealed envelope which added more drama to the moment. I opened it and was very much glad that all of the tests are negative. Now I could start anew with my life with a clear perspective of how I should approach sex...=p

One long day...

Just got home from a very long yet fun and eventful day yesterday. I hanged out with my friends again, ate again ( thanks to our sponsor: deej) goodluck sa tyan ko talaga and met new people which is always a good experience for me. I just hope that the plans made earlier push through and that my job sched. would permit me to do just that. There's been some drama later in the night but hopefully it didn't dampen any friendships made. The partee was great. ( Sana tinamaan pa ako ng mas matindi kaso I had to stop and take care of my tipsy friends) Next time uunahan ko na silang magkatama. hahahah Wish ko lang magising ako later to get ready for my job offer.... =p