Choices...

As I was walking home today, a thought just came into my head. It's about choices. Everyday, we are given choices from the most simple things like what to wear or what to eat to life- altering ones like a job offer or a wedding proposal. Sometimes we choose strangers over friends. We choose who we want to be involved with. We choose to be loyal or just break our promises. We choose to forgive or not forget. We choose to trust. We choose to believe in the words of others. We choose to stay or let go. Question is, how do you know if you've made the right choice?

Too Little, Too Late...

An ex- close friend of mine texted me today. I already deleted his number because I have already given up on the friendship (which is rare for me to do) He is trying to reconnect the ties. Sadly, its too little too late...

Shit Happens...

Just when I thought my week couldn't get any worse... I just lost my job...

Looking Forward to Nothing...

It's 2 am and I still can't sleep. I need to sleep! I already talked to a friend of mine and I thought that I'm ok now. I really thought I am. That awkward scene keeps flashing on my head, tormenting me for days now. I don't know how you get over that. For now, this helps... as of the moment, the future that I picture out before is getting all blurred up. Hope I'm not looking forward to nothing once more...

Zoning Out...

Dazed...

Baffled...

Preoccupied...

Paranoid...

Losing my Head...

Down... Way Down...

Melancholy...

Blank...

Bits and Pieces...

I didn't know I could hurt like this. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life... Lay down a list of what is wrong, the things you've told him all along and pray to God he hears you... He will do one of two things: He will admit to everything or he'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came... Let me know that I've done wrong when I've known this all along. I'll keep you my dirty little secret, who has to know? When we live such fragile lives, it's the best way we survive and all I've tried to hide it's eating me apart.

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you and I need you like a heart needs a beat but it's nothing new. I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue...

Stop. Think

Really weird day... hmmm I just need to stop, breathe and think of some things. I have a feeling this week is going to be pretty long... Wish I could get some sleep...

what you don't know won't hurt you... when you do find out its painful...

Naalala ko lang ang isang nangyari saking life dahil nagkakwentuhan kami ng college friends ko tungkol sa college application namin dati... Ang dream school ko ever since ay UST dahil ang dalawa sa close kong tita ay doon nagtapos kaya siyempre dun ko rin gustong pumasok. Paglabas ng results meron kaming kaklase na pumunta mismo ng UST para icheck ang mga pangalan namin. Tinanong ko kung pumasa ba ako sa first choice ko at ang sabi nga hindi. So nalungkot naman ako dahil hindi ako nakuha sa una kong gusto. Natanggap ko na ang kapalaran ko kaso merong sinabi ang friend ng tita ko na pasado daw ako sa first choice ko according sa online. So natuwa naman ako dun. Kaso nung pumunta na ako para makapagpareserve ng slot. Nalaman ko pala na umasa lang ako sa maling sabi. Humagulgol ako kasi ang pinaasa lang ako sa isang bagay na sobrang inasamasam ko...

Pero looking on the brighter side, if that didn't happen hindi ko sana mamemeet ang mga college friends ko ngayon. Everything does happen with a purpose...

I'm the man...

I've been in my drama mode lately because of my ideal guy. I even thought of having a break from everything just to clear my thoughts. I forgot myself. Good thing, someone reminded me that I'm the man. I know I like him but I shouldn't stress myself into thinking if I'm good enough for him. I should just focus on myself right now and just wait for someone to take notice... ;p

What If...

Naisip ko lang ang nangyari samin ng isang close friend ko nung college. We were really close na tipong inakala nila na meron na kaming relasyon. Sadly, nung inamin ko na sa kanya na I dig guys nagkaroon lang ng distance saming dalawa. Baka naisip niya na meron akong gusto sa kanya (which wala naman talaga) o baka dahil naiilang na siya sa akin. Ngayon andito na naman ako sa sitwasyon kung saan kelangan kong mamili kung itatago ko nalang ba o hahayaan ko na naman na masira ang isang pagkakaibigan... I'll still get hurt either way... haiiizzz life...

Song of the Moment...

Ok na ulit ako...

I got time to have everything sink into me yesterday because of the things that I did yesterday. Me point si Oogway (Kung Fu Panda) na there are no accidents. Everything that is happening is just what needs to happen. I don't have to worry about the friend that is not talking to me or about my crush kung saan dinodown ko ang sarili ko. Inaccept ko na rin that we're just going to be friends and nothing more than that. I should be happy and contented rather than longing for more. I guess I liked him because he is one guy that I want my partner to be like pero ngayon ok na ulit ako kahit na friends nalang kami... Someday naman makikita ko rin "siya" eh...;p

Fun, Fun, Fun!!!

Yesterday was a breath of fresh air to my really bad week. I spent my early afternoon with Ker at Starbucks where we studied. (Actually he was the only one who reviewed, because I was distracted by cute guys passing thru and JM kept on texting me) Jannoe arrived soon after at wala na talagang nangyari sakin kasi nagpicturan nalang kami dun. Then Jeland came after at nagkwentuhan nalang kami. (Wawa si Ker dahil we were distracting him) At nang dumating na ang uber tagal na si JM zoom na agad kami sa Glorietta for our movie marathon.

1st movie was Narnia: Prince Caspian. Maganda naman siya kaso it was a bit too long. Buti nalang cute si Caspian kaya ok lang (kaso ang weird ng accent nya) at maganda ang mga fight scenes. Gusto ko rin yung song after the movie.


2nd movie: Kung Fu Panda. Mabuti talaga at ito ang hinuli namin dahil this is AWESOME!! Hindi kami tumigil kakatawa from start to finish. One great movie to see at the cinema at idagdag sa movie collection. Sobrang daming eksena pero my favorite was Master Oogway's farewell. Sana ako rin kapag mageexit ganun ang eksena. The movie wasn't just funny meron din siyang lesson.

After nun nagpaalam na kami sa isa't isa dahil nga nagmamadali si Jannoe na umuwi to get the call from his mom. Kaso dahil sa kabuangan namin, nauwi rin kami sa Malate. Nakita ko pa ang mga trainers ko sa work. Tumambay lang kami sa isang place dun where we ate, drank, put each other on a hotseat at pose galore for the camera. Kakatuwa kasi ito nalang ulit yung time na naghang out kami nila JM tapos ngayon meron pang kasamang bagong sets of friends.



Nagcrash lang ako kina Jannoe for the night tapos larga na naman para sa dedication lunch ng isa ko pang good friend na si Marian. At ang kasama ko naman ngayon ay si Chinggay, Jan at Michee. Dahil hindi na namin nakontrol ang aming gutom, Kain muna kaming Jobi. Sayang nga kasi andami lang food kina Marian hehehe. (Sayang walang cute) We just spent our afternoon catching up with each other and trying to get her cute son to go with us for a photo op. Buti nalang nasuyo ko sya at meron lang akong picture kasama niya. Was out of the house for more than 24 hours pero it was just what I need. Ngayon ok na ulit ako...;p

Whatta Week...

I've had a funky week and this day wasn't an excemption. We didn't do anything exciting all day because all of the systems were down. We just unleashed our inner cam whores because 2 of our team mates brought their cameras. I thought it couldn't get worse. I was wrong. Just before our dismissal, our OM told us that the other group of our batch would have to be pulled out because of some legalities. We were all stunned and sad at the same time because the people that we've been with will have to be shifted to other accounts. To think that they were the cream of the crop. Life is just full of surprises...

Another thing that's been bugging me is my crush. I hate it. I so feel like a loser when I'm thinking about him. That's probably one of the reason why I don't want to be in any gay scene right now. Because I don't feel confident. He's just out of my league. I have to think of something to get him out of my system or else my eye bags will be as big as a plate and I'll never get out of this crappy feeling... (Lord mabait naman ako ah asan na kasi price charming ko?? hehehe)

I'm still looking at the brighter side... Tomorrow I'll watch two (hopefully good) films I'm looking forward to (Kung Fu Panda and Narnia) with my good friends and we have no work on Monday. Yippee.... (The Secret kaya ko to)

Not Again....

I don't know what is the problem but a good friend of mine or at least one that I consider as one of my good friends is not talking to me again... Again, for a reason that I don't know. haiizz depressing lang kasi parang feeling ko na ambilis lang akong bitawan ng mga taong pinapahalagahan ko... Stupid me ='(

Honest Mistake...

To free us from total boredom, our trainer thought it'll be fun to have an activity. We have to pick anybody in the room that we want to say something to but couldn't tell that person personally. In order to hide ourselves we're going to sign with our pseudonym. Since I have no crush in the room or against someone, I chose a girl who I think is always fab in her get-up. I just couldn't complement her because we aren't close yet. Time is up and I couldn't think of any good pseudonym so I wrote the nickname of my seatmate not knowing that he digs her. We crumpled the letter to a ball then thrown it in front at the same time. Much to my surprise we have to read out also the pseudonym that was written. OMG!!! Nobody told me that. ( I was out of the room when my trainer explained it) So my seatmate was put on the spot when they read my letter. I really didn't know and it was an honest mistake. Good thing the issue was resolved later...

Weird Dream...

I just woke up from a very good sleep and I just had a really strange dream... It was a peaceful day and I was hanging out with my friends. There were four of us, though I couldn't make out who among my friends am I with. Then something happened and there were people running after us. Then the environment changed as well into something like post apocalyptic. We ran for our lives but one of my friends went the other way and couldn't catch up with us. We hid ourselves into some hidden inn of some kind where other people are also hiding. When we were in our room we argued about what to do next to escape and then poof I woke up... weird...

One Bad Day...

Yesterday was miserable. I was sick all day long and I have to go to work. Good thing there wasn't much to do. I was grumpy all day because I have stuffy nose and my head hurts like hell. Mukhang hindi ako hiyang sa matinding aralan hehehe. Good thing I'm ok now. Ready for JM's treat this Friday... (Narnia and Kung-Fu Panda woohoo)

Wanted: Missing Hon...

I was surprised when someone texted me this afternoon. " Hon d2 ka nalang reply or call asap mahalaga sasabihen ko sayo send ka load 150 pesos last text na e2." Hindi ko naman alam kung na wrong send lang sya or plain old scammer so I just replied: "Sorry hon, di kita kilala eh." Dapat nga me hahaha pa sa dulo kaso I figured I would come off as rude kahit na manloloko sya. So if someone knows this number : 09064579880 yung hon mo nagpapapasa ng load...

Close Call...

I almost had a great day today. I spent most of the day reviewing with Ker at Seattle's Best. (Productive) Enter the dragon si Jeland mga late afternoon. I was done reviewing then so chikahan lang kami. Then Jacques came and we had our dinner after courtesy of Ker sa Katips (woohoo sa susunod bibiruin ko sya ulit hahaha) Sayang hindi na kami nakapunta ng Banapple ( I really miss their pies) dahil they have to go home. At dahil isa akong ulirang friend, kelangan kong magintay sa Gateway para kitain ang nagddrama kong friend na si JM.

They dropped me off sa Santolan and I rode a bus papuntang Gateway. Nung pababa nako the conduktor was calling for other passengers and the bus stopped. Hindi ko alam kung napupupu ba sya, me galit sakin o gusto lang talagang magbiro ng masama pero nung tumigil sya at nung pababa ako. Bigla nalang siyang umandar agad. Buti sana kung sa open road siya umandar e tinapat nya talaga dun sa merong harang. Buti nalang mabilis ang mga reflexes ko at di ako bundat (ahem) kaya nakakapit pako sa railings at hindi nahagip. Poised na sana kaso merong aleng naging hysterical kaya napansin ng mga tao ang nangyari sakin. (Exposure na naman)

Tumambay ako sa DQ na medyo traumatized at dyahe kasi sa lahat ng ayaw ko e tumatambay ng magisa. Mas lalo ko kasi nararamdaman ang pagiging single ko. Buti nalang nakita ko si Victor Basa. ( Kumalma ako for a time) Nung nawala na epekto niya nagtalo pa kami ni JM. Mejo nahurt lang ako kasi natouch lang ako sa sinabi ni Je earlier about me na sinabi niya tapos biglang ganun. ( Ouch JM! hahaha OO kinukunsensya na naman kita) Eventually dumating na siya at ayos na naman kami dahil sa kabutihan ko. (At dahil dun ililibre niya ako sa Friday ng sine hahaha woohoo)